Dichotomy

posted September 15th, 2013, 5:08 pm


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September 15th, 2013, 5:08 pm

LittleLynn84

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Quite the diverse set of reactions. And once again, with poor Rudy always being made out to be the villain. Going to school with closed-minded homophobes and dimwits allows this kind of thing unfortunately. Perhaps it IS better Rain doesn’t come out.

That said, is there ever really a GOOD time to come out?

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April 24th, 2017, 12:14 pm

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September 15th, 2013, 5:54 pm

Allie (Guest)

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Well, if their classmates were *slightly* less ignorant, this might indeed be a good time :P But yeah, that's a good question.

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September 15th, 2013, 8:59 pm

Claire (Guest)

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to be honest, this is one I find a little silly (in a 'ha ha' way, not an absurd way). I get that everyone's different and my experiences are different than another person's, but after all of the gender bullshit I've gone through and the topic of whether or not to come out to someone as THAT always on my mind when the situation arises, when it comes to sexuality... it's just kind of a non-issue to me haha. I mean that as for me as a trans woman, not that it's a non-issue for other trans folk or for 'the gay'.

I just mean like, after all I've gone through on the trans subject, when it comes to my sexuality, it's just kinda like "oh, what? pff, I'm [whatever]. Who cares?" The ONLY people I'd have any qualms about when it comes to coming out as gay with would be select family, and for trans-specific reasons.

I'm sure you all know what I'm talking about there, too. If you're mtf and you like women, you get that whole patronizing thing from your parents about being straight or still being a guy on the inside or something. If you tell them you're straight (again, mtf), you might get laughed at and ruin any sort of education you may have been working your parents towards, like in my case.

After I came out as trans to my mom, she was kind of open to some education after she realized I had my mind set on this (she still thought it was a phase or something, though), so I thought slowly but surely I was getting somewhere in educating her. Y'know, dropping little things here and there, like "ohey, I read yesterday that it could have been a congenital birth defect that causes trans stuff in the womb" while showing the research to her. So I thought I was making progress, right?

About two years into HRT, which was also two years into coming out, and not transitioned yet (WHOOOOOLE other story), she decided to ask me about my sexuality. And she hadn't asked at all since the days when she was trying to dissuade me from choosing to be trans ("Guys who get sex changes are still just gay guys who want to have sex as women", that sort of thing [that's an actual quote btw]). So she just casually brings it up and after dodging the issue for a few moments I told her, "I've been with a girl before, I'm not a virgin. I know first-hand what I like and it's nothing new to me. I like guys but I could never ever be with one AS a guy without going insane or killing myself."

Her response? She walked away laughing, saying, "You're SOOOOO gay!" I felt like that two years of education just went right down the drain. She had her own ideas and didn't care at all when I had to say on it. She doesn't hate me or anything like that and she's far more accepting now (this was three years ago or so), but still. Just that feeling of hopelessness that I could never get my mom to accept this the way I wanted her to. I stopped talking to her about trans stuff after that entirely. Didn't come up again until it was time to move out and go full time.

But yeah, back on topic- coming out as gay, for me, would be a complete non-issue aside from when it came to certain family like that who'd think of me in THAT certain dismissive way.

Sorry for the long story, but most people who read this comic are trans so maybe they'll get a kick out of this story. I find it pretty funny!

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September 16th, 2013, 1:18 am

Hannah (Guest)

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@Claire: Oh how I feel for you Claire... I understand where you're coming from ENTIRELY. I also understand the whole "sexuality is a non-issue" thing. After everything else I've been through, I talk about my current or past romantic history with about as much shyness as I would what I had for lunch on any given day. lmao

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September 16th, 2013, 11:36 am

SaviourInDistress

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I think its wrong that people feel the need to "come out" as if you've done something wrong.

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September 17th, 2013, 1:39 pm

Darkness Komet

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Rudy sure has a bad reputation

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September 19th, 2013, 5:04 pm

JGray (Guest)

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@SaviourInDistress: I used to think people shouldn't "have to" "come out". That was until I read/saw this quote from Harvey Milk:

“Gay brothers and sisters,... You must come out. Come out... to your parents... I know that it is hard and will hurt them but think about how they will hurt you in the voting booth! Come out to your relatives... come out to your friends... if indeed they are your friends. Come out to your neighbors... to your fellow workers... to the people who work where you eat and shop... come out only to the people you know, and who know you. Not to anyone else. But once and for all, break down the myths, destroy the lies and distortions. For your sake. For their sake. For the sake of the youngsters who are becoming scared by the votes from Dade to Eugene.”


― Harvey Milk

Coming out is important because it shows people that there are people different from them around them at all times and the world still works.

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October 8th, 2013, 6:42 am

SaviourInDistress

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@JGray: interesting but I'm sure your parents and friends would realise you are gay without you coming out when you bring your boy/girl friend home for the first time.

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June 12th, 2016, 3:43 pm

TranshumanAr (Guest)

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People can be jerks for stupid reasons, and they blame the ones they think are weird for things that aren't causing any harm to anyone.

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