Token

posted January 12th, 2014, 6:32 pm


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January 12th, 2014, 6:41 pm

LittleLynn84

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This was actually a really hard page. I spent a lot less time worrying about getting the style of the year right (1998), and more on the specific designs of a "15 years younger Fara that who is still identifiable as Fara," and a "15 years younger pre-op, pre-hormone Vincent that doesn't really look like the current, but you can totally kinda see the resemblance." And that's exactly as convoluted as it sounds. XD

I tried to achieve this for Fara more with her hair than anything. I guess it just seems like the easiest way to address the passage of time. But I couldn't have a long-haired Fara. It just does not work for her. So I needed a younger, cuter variation of her typical very short style. It's not exactly a big jump for her, but I think I like it. The flip in back is quite charming.

Vincent's younger "Vivian" presentation was even trickier, because it required more than just a specific design, but a distinct sort of expression. What I knew was that I definitely wanted him to be very feminine-looking. Even exceptionally so. This is a person who really internalized his dysphoria so well, that he blended seamlessly as the gender that society wanted him to be (even if it wasn't what he wanted). But I also wanted to give the impression that he didn't entirely hate who he was back then either. Not in the sense where he could be content with "either or," but in the sense that his old life wasn't actually that bad. He liked to sing and he got to sing. He liked women, and he got to fall for one. So everything is fine and dandy, right? Just a regular cis lesbian woman, right? Obviously not, but that's what he wanted people to think. TL;DR - Trans person that doesn't want to be trans or transition.

And that entire last paragraph had to be packed into this character's design. How'd I do?

This blurb is long enough, but I just want to give special mention to the band name and it's logo. When I was younger, the "toaster on fire" design was like my emblem. In high school (maybe even middle school), I would draw them all over my notebooks. And back when anyone still cared about Guitar Hero, that was always my band name. By extension, it seemed the obvious name for Vincent's band. ^_^


©2004-2014
Rain, all characters and all other aspects of the story are copyright material belonging to me.

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October 22nd, 2017, 1:10 am

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January 12th, 2014, 7:05 pm

lauren (Guest)

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vincent is handsome but he sure was a hot "woman" . but im happy is finally his real self now :) . on a side note I hope vincent and fara date again .

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January 12th, 2014, 9:09 pm

Spooks

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Almost all of my friends were male growing up (especially during high school, right before I started transitioning), and I always hated being the token "girl" of the group. It was something of a double edged sword- I had always had trouble making friends, and being the Token Girl helped that because guys would approach /me/ and act all friendly... on the other hand, usually only because they were interested in dating me. And that was weird too, beacuse I've always been attracted to guys and have always been happy to get their attention, even when doing so felt backwards and wrong. (Hilariously, when the subject of dating came up with my real friends, they always had they same reaction- "eww man, you're like, one of the bros.")

Being sexualized while presenting as the wrong gender is such a strange, confusing experience. It's like, you /want/ to be found attractive, and you want to conform to societies standards of what is attractive, but doing so means making yourself look /less/ like how you want to appear, and even if you don't know you're transgender yet, it feels so wrong.

Anyway, sorry to go off on a tangent like that, but this page evoked a lot of emotions on my part. A point to your strong writing skills. And, you know, it's comforting to know I'm not alone in my experiences. Thank you for that.

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January 12th, 2014, 9:20 pm

lauren (Guest)

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@Spooks: I understand what your saying . sadly I myself have never be attractive to anyone so im just one of those (trans) girls who has always tried hard to fit in with no luck

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January 13th, 2014, 9:30 am

fairfax (Guest)

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And now again I am reminded of how CUTE YOUR ART IS WOW.

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January 14th, 2014, 7:31 am

WingedReaper777

What kind of band was it?

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Please say symphonic black metal...
please say symphonic black metal...

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January 14th, 2014, 9:40 am

LittleLynn84

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@WingedReaper777:

I envision a grungish/punkish rock band (it is the 90s after all). But I think Vincent would be into metal too (if nothing else because I am). XD

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January 16th, 2014, 7:43 am

WingedReaper777

This is a big concern for me...

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@LittleLynn84: I am in an aggrotech/industrial band called SikFux. I do a certain vocal style known as "shrieking", which is basically the exact opposite of the "growling" you hear in Death Metal. When I transition, will my voice be affected enough to not let me do this?

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January 16th, 2014, 10:48 am

LittleLynn84

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@WingedReaper777:

For trans girls, the voice doesn't change with HRT. Instead, we have to train it to sound more feminine. And you said you were trans girl, right? If that's the case, you don't really have to worry. Incidentally, one of the things that helped find my female speaking voice was singing along with the stuff I listen to. Really stretched out my vocal muscles and gave me more range. I still inherently have a male voice which I am still wholly capable of reaching with no issue (also it slips out from time to time XD), but there's nothing wrong with my femme voice. In other words, I didn't lose anything, but rather, I gained greater range.

Just to kind of round out the topic, the situations of trans guys vary. Their voices usually do deepen with hormones. Most commonly, I know a few FtM singers who just had to adapt and learn to sing differently than they used to. It's easier for some, but harder for others. I also know one in particular whose voice didn't change at all. But he's totally content to sing in an alto register so it's not a big deal for him. ^_^

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December 30th, 2014, 3:26 pm

Kimiko (Guest)

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Yep, you succeeded very well ^_^

Also, I remember that Gavin's a fan of Toaster On Fire. I wonder if they still play?

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August 7th, 2017, 4:42 pm

Le Fou (Guest)

T-shirt

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@LittleLynn84: From Gavin's wardrobe, you can also see the toaster on fire tshirt

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