I've tried changing the subject like that. It never works. XD
Let me just open the floor to you. What do you think of Rain's generosity? Why is she so gung-ho for Gavin to pursue Ana when she likes her? Is Rain just throwing in the towel on this one? Is she just a good person seeking to help a friend? Is she no longer interested? And whatever the case, why doesn't she want to tell Rudy?
Thoughts are most welcome.
Rain, all characters and all other aspects of the story are copyright material belonging to me.
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Though I rarely comment, the page, the issues surrounding Rain's choice in this chapter and your questions Jocelyn, really resonated with me, so I'll take a stab at a theory, though I suppose it might be obvious or completely off, thoughts welcome.
I suspect that the strongest pull right now for Rain is her transitioning process, just started and huge on the horizon, and something she has been hoping/working towards for ever. I think she wants to avoid some of the issues that surround being in a relationship while transitioning. Not only might there be pressure to end or, worst case scenario, hostility towards the process; but she may also wish to avoid harming Ana as well, since Rain has been known to put others first, and often worry about how accepting they might be (with very good reason), this would hardly be surprising.
As for not telling Rudy well, had she been thinking along those lines before their relationship it may never have happened, and because it didn't work out she may be having them now, should she tell him this, well, he might feel like her being unable to pursue her affections is his fault, guilt/anguish she would rather avoid hanging over him. As we have mentioned her selflessness in that regard.
I can see a few possibilities.
1. Her friendship with Gavin is more important to her than her feelings for Ana. A bit of a cliche reason but Rain's explicity stated that as her only friend in a hard period of her life, Gavin is extremely important to her.
2. She hopes that will lessen her own crush on Ana. While she likes Ana herself, Rain does not like the male bodily functions she experiences as a result.
3. She doesn't want to rock the boat. This one seems less likely than it did in the early chapters, particularly since her brother came to visit. Since then she's become noticeably more assertive.
As for not wanting to talk to Rudy... He is a known blabbermouth. XD
Is that a demonic duck of some kind?
One possibility that is unlikely given her personality, but still plausible is that Rain is trying to covertly find out Ana's orientation by sending Gavin after her. If Ana is straight then Rain doesn't lose anything by sending Gavin after her, because she wouldn't have been interested in her anyway. If Ana is gay and rejects Gavin by telling him so then that knowledge will help reduce Rain's anxiety over approaching her herself, and Gavin can't complain. If Ana rejects Gavin without disclosing her orientation then the status quo is maintained. The only way Rain can lose here is if Ana is bi/pan, but that may just be a risk she is willing to take. This level of calculation would be a bit out of character for Rain, but it would explain why she was initially reluctant to give Gavin permission before changing her mind, it took her a moment to realize that giving Gavin permission would probably be in her own self interest. It important to note that Rain doesn't know about the whole "never say never" moment between Gavin and Ana, because if Ana is definitely not gay but potentially bi/pan then Rain can only lose by sending Gavin after her.
@Fairportfan: I just have to comment on this. I saw the comment and it made me laugh. I now wish Rain had said that, though I doubt she had read that web comic.
I'm WAY behind, but that's El Goonish Shive, right? I think the only reason Rain might not read that webcomic, would be that I have no idea what the Rainverse parody name would be.
Other than that, I could totally see her being into it. XD
@LittleLynn84: Yes it is from that. At least I think thats where Fairportfan got it from. I know thats where I know it from.
Le shivish goon?
@Fairportfan: I love the EGS reference :3 I'm halfway through reading through that now
@LittleLynn84: Der Elvish Shine? I keep thinking it should have "elvish" in it somewhere
It seems to me that she has a lot on her mind right now. She has so far shown a reluctance to let anyone know she is trans. Telling Ana would be unavoidable if she did happen to enter a relationship with her.
She just got out of a relationship with Rudy. Conversation with exes about possible future relationships are a bit awkward.
Letting Gavin ask Ana out might also be her way of testing the waters. If they do start going out then the possibility that Ana would have said yes is reduced. Her fear of rejection may be urging her to take the "safer" route.
RudyXJustin for the win!