Promising start...? Uh, er...
Just a show of hands for my curiosity, in Rain's position, how many of you would've kept walking? Why do you think Rain stopped walking away?
Rain, all characters and all other aspects of the story are copyright material belonging to me.
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He called her Rain! That's really nice of him, he's making an effort!
@Dakaria Wolf: I think that was why too.
@Dakaria Wolf: Yeah, it's really slightly almost human of him isn't it! Especially the part where he guilt trips RAIN for her response to being misgendered by someone who has repeatedly made a habit of wilfully misgendering her.
I think it was more of a slip of the toungue from kellen rather than anything cruel. I can imagine it being hard to adjust to the different pronouns. Though I guess rain just really doesn't want anything ruining her weekend, so first sign of things going wrong and off she trots. Can't blame her I suppose after the way Aiken was, though it seems they are both trying this time so I think it will go well :D
@Crestchan: Yeah, that's part of what would've gotten me to walk back, were I Rain.
@SaviourInDistress: See, I realize that changing names and pronouns and other words can be hard for cis people. Hell, sometimes, its hard for me (especially the other words bit, considering I'm non-binary). So I'm always more than understanding and longsuffering when cis people make that error, and aren't clearly doing it on purpose.
I don't think Kellen was trying to be mean, just maybe distracted, ignorant..? Maybe she'll improve, but who knows. I think Aiken is actually trying though, calling her Rain was already a good start
I can understand both sides here. Rain is offended and upset for obvious reasons but to Kellen Rain was kind of her little brother for a very very long time, and wrapping your head around that is a lot different in her own head than Rains I imagine. I would assume the transition to referring to herself AS herself feels natural and normal to Rain, because that is who she identifies as, but Kellens lived years knowing Rain as her kid brother and it's entirely understandable that it's all a bit hard for her to deal with straight away.
The real issue is whether she puts in the effort to grow accustomed to her new little sister or not. Surprised Aiken's trying so hard, maybe he's had time to reflect.
I think walking away and staying are both very valid responses here, but I think I would have done the same thing as her because she hasn't really had a conversation with Kellen about this iirc, so the "baby bro" thing might have been an automatic response. And definitely helps that her brother used the right name.
Well this gets a little awkward with me since I call almost everyone "bro", "dude", "girl" and such with completely gender-neutral meaning intended with them. It's kind of a habit I've gotten myself into, though if someone didn't like it and asked me to stop, I would do my best to avoid using it towards them.
I'm not sure if that was what happened here, doubtful, but just thought I'd mention this from my own perspective ^^;
I know this is supposed to be somewhat serious but Emily's face in the last panel had me giggling like a kindergartener who'd just seen her parents kiss.
I also think calling her rain was what kept her from leaving. It showed her that at least one of them was trying.
I don't think I would have run away that fast if I was her. I'm just not that quick to judge and I honestly believe its not easy for some people to just up and start using the right names and pronouns. My mom struggled with it for a while. Sometimes she called me my old name and sometimes she called me Danielle. Eventually she started correcting herself when she said the wrong one and now she doesn't mess up at all. I think its a combination of coming to terms with it and just literally trying to remember the right things to say. I too have had friends come out to me as trans and when you know someone for so long by a certain name, it really is hard to change it in your mind.
If I was Rain, I would've ran away, crying completely... Maybe after I settle down, harbor resentment for that person who did unless someone was there to correct them if they did mess up. I am slowly trying to get my middle brother, the only in in my family who does accept me, to ease it into him about what I am going through while my own family outside of him either dosent know is is too estranged to think about it.
Considering one of Rain's first memories is her siblings mocking her for wanting to be a girl, I can see why she's so quick to assume "Nope, this isn't working, I'm out." Aiken lashing out at her so much over Christmas just reinforced that idea that they won't accept her and don't want to.
On the other hand, that behaviour in itself holds risks. Lets look at this from Kellen's point of view; she's "lost" one timid but sweet baby brother and "gained" a stand-offish and slightly stroppy baby sister. Much like the Sleepover with Gavin arc, Rain runs the risk of making it harder on people to accept her, simply because they like "Ryan" better.
It's a weird situation where her behaviour feels justified but was probably a bad way to handle it. (That being said, it occurs to me now that she ALSO could have walked away because she didn't want to lash out in anger, in which case it was the BEST way to handle it.)
I would just correct my sister right away in this situation. "It's baby sis"
It is a bit odd her sister would get pronouns wrong right away. Surely she and her brother talked about it before.
Someone on DA said the same thing, but I don't think it's that odd. I came out to my parents eight years before I finally presented female in front of them. And despite being totally supportive, they get my name and pronouns wrong roughly 90% of the time (they're just kinda dingbats about keeping it straight). And again, that's with EIGHT YEARS of discussions and reminders.
Kellen though, learned about this two months ago. The only person she's been able to discuss the situation with is Aiken. But even then, she talked very little with Aiken because she's been actively trying not to get involved.
So, with all that in mind, I don't think anything seems terribly off about this to me. Perhaps Kellen panicked and the wrong thing just came out. Perhaps she thought it was still okay to say that. Perhaps she's delusional, and thinks if she doesn't accept it, it won't be true. Maybe she's even quite deliberately saying the wrong thing to demonstrate how opposed she is to the whole thing. There are a lot of possible reasons why she would say that. It's a complicated situation, and everyone reacts to it differently.
I think that Rain noticed that her brother is trying. Maybe, just maybe, her sister might try as well. I would have kept walking.
re: all the people saying they "understand Kellen's side of it";
however hard it is for a cis person to get used to new names & pronouns, i GUARANTEE it is 10x more difficult for the trans person in question. it's not just being misgendered by other people, but accidentally misgendering /yourself/, and the doubt that causes.
sorry if i'm not all that sympathetic for Kellen. she's known for two months, this was the first she saw Rain in a long time, and she couldn't think to be a little bit careful? Kellen is not the victim here. don't play that card.
I absolutely hate accidentally misgendering myself.
But yes, you are absolutely right that "it being hard" shouldn't be an excuse for cis people. By the same token, however, I choose to take the high road and be understanding and gently correct them, precisely because it happens to me, too.
I say that bad on kellen, and good on Aikens side. One thing I'm wondering about is why didn't Rain bring her falsies? She got them back already, and wearing them might of helped tell the point more.
^^ "it's not just being misgendered by other people, but accidentally misgendering /yourself/, and the doubt that causes."
So I'm not the only person who does that??
Yeah, I'm rather relieved that I'm not the only one this happens to, as well.
@Haldo: nope, I misgender myself sometimes, especially earlier in my transition
I'm cis, so I hope I don't offend anyone here. I apologize if I do; I understand that I don't have the experience a trans person would, and I don't mean to be ignorant.
Personally, in Rain's situation, I'd have kept walking. Especially in light of how Kellen has stated that she doesn't want to accept Rain as Rain and not Ryan, and how she kept calling Jessica a "guy." But, I'm a spiteful person (I'm passionate by nature, and have been mistreated by family A LOT). Rain is another person, so she's entitled to react how she wants.
I will say, though, she'd be entirely justified in asking for an apology.
If I were in her shoes I would come back. I think she did the right thing by turning and walking away because it shows how important this is to her, but she is there to move forward with her relationships and if she doesn't give it an effort beyond just showing up she hasn't done herself any favors. And to potentially give up on the con!?!? crazy.
I saw a phrase on the internet "when change matters, identity must shift" and for people in our position we sometimes have to really show our friends and family that change is important and if you can't make that change we might walk away.
I love your comic.Moar plz <3
Yeah, it's possible it was a mistake on Kellen's part. But the least she could do is apologise without having to be prompted, acknowledge that she knows what she did wrong, and acknowledge that Rain has a right to be angry and upset with her
Why do I get the feeling most of the people defending Kellen and talking about what a great effort Aiken's making for saying the right name for the first time ever are cis?
@Allie: Well, to be fair, I myself am cisgender, and I don't think that they're great people for making an effort. Overall, I'd say they're pretty crappy siblings.
Even so, I don't think Kellen saying "hey baby bro" meant anything more than if she had said "hey Aiken" or "hey aunt Fara". It was likely just force of habit. If Kellen wasn't willing to accept Rain (or to at least try), she wouldn't be here in the first place.
@april_plus_june: Like I said, maybe it was a mistake, but the least she could do is apologise without having to be prompted, acknowledge that she knows what she did wrong, and acknowledge that Rain has a right to be angry and upset with her.
[content warning for talking about transphobic abuse, homelessness and physical violence and passive aggressive "acceptance" from here down]
Also, there's unfortunately lots of cis people who are "willing to accept" trans "friends" and family but aren't actually willing to make much effort to adjust, and can sometimes not even accept in principle that the person is the gender they identify as and still say things like "I still accept you though!" There are degrees of transphobia, none of it is okay, and none of those people have any more right to exist than the person who kicks their trans kid out on the street or beats them daily until they recant.
Am I the only one who keeps thinking Kellen is Rain? :3
You're not the only one. At least one person on every site has said pretty much the same thing. Their similar appearance has even been noted a couple times in canon, actually.
That said, this is going to be a pretty long arc, so I'm hoping I can avoid any confusion. Just keep in mind that Rain has the "one covered eye" thing, and Kellen doesn't. Kellen also has much longer hair which will ALWAYS be shown in that straight-forward long ponytail. And for as rarely as you'll see these characters below the waist, Rain ALWAYS wears skirts/dresses, so Kellen will be seen wearing jeans throughout this arc. I hope these help. :)
I don't think it was meant as malicious. Once my ex picked a name other than Andrew, the "guy version" of his birth name, it took me months to remember that Andy wasn't his name anymore. After a lifetime of calling Rain baby bro, I highly doubt that it was anything more than force of habit. Am I saying that Kellen really deserves the benefit of the doubt at this point? No. But Rain chose to go back, which means that she thinks Kellen deserves another chance.
@april_plus_june: The thing is, giving Kellen the benefit of the doubt that not only was this a mistake but that she's making every possible effort to avoid such mistakes, she still owes Rain an apology and an explicit acknowledgement that she knows what she did wrong, and Rain still has a right to be upset. Imagine if you dropped a bowling ball on someone's foot. If you didn't mean to do it, that doesn't mean you get to act like nothing's wrong.
@Allie: Okay then, to continue with your metaphor: to someone who's never seen a bowling ball before, or who simply dosen't understand what a bowling ball is in the first place, the reaction of someone whose foot has just been crushed is confusing, to say the very least. Does that make Kellen any less of an ass for doing it? No. Hell, to be honest, I'm don't think I would have gone back if I were Rain. All I'm saying is that Kellen's current reaction seems to be something along the lines of "What the hell just happened? Did I do that?" If she realized that the answer was yes, she quite likely would have apologized. If not, then I have sorely misjudged her.
For all the cis people who don't understand why Kellen owes Rain an apology even if the misgendering wasn't intentional (and why anyone cis or trans who misgenders a trans person owes them an apology):
Imagine if you drop a bowling ball on someone's foot. Lets assume for a moment that there was no malicious intent. Even if nothing's broken or otherwise seriously injured, they're still gonna be hopping for the rest of the night and have a mighty bruise for the next few weeks. Even if you didn't mean to drop it, you've still spoilt there night, you've still caused an injury that'll effect them for at least a few days. Would you refuse to apologise, or even need prompting? Would you take offense if they told you to go away? Would you act like it was a slight on your character if they acted like it was kinda a big deal?
Bad Kellen, bad!
I mean, come on, she knew Rain was coming over, she hasn't seen her sister in ages, then she opens the door to see a completely ordinary girl standing there. And she still calls her 'bro'? That's not a mistake, that's intentional misgendering.
I can totally understand Rain's reaction. I'd probably have done the same in her situation. It's probably better to stay and explain what she's doing worng, but just wanting to forget about the whole deal is very understandable.