Forgiveness

posted January 11th, 2015, 5:52 pm


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January 11th, 2015, 5:57 pm

LittleLynn84

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So, the first three panels are how Fara and Colin broke up way back in Chapter 12. This was never shown, which led to an awful lot of confusion for a long time (sorry for that). Given it was later explained that this is essentially what happened, I considered leaving out this specific depiction. But I decided it might help explain Fara's hesitation to forgive and forget after all.

The big thing I want to focus on here though: is Colin forgivable? If you were Rain's guardian, would you be having coffee with this guy after what he said? We've since seen him in Rain's presence, but can we assume he's had a change of heart as Aiken has, or was Colin just biting his tongue for the sake of being civil in front of Fara? And following all of that, is there hope for Fara and Colin? Should there be?


©2004-2014
Rain, all characters and all other aspects of the story are copyright material belonging to me.

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August 16th, 2017, 10:06 am

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January 11th, 2015, 6:21 pm

DisforDemise (Guest)

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In answer to all those questions in paragraph 2, in order:
Yes
No
The latter
Yes
No

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January 20th, 2015, 10:59 pm

Guest

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@DisforDemise: +1

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January 11th, 2015, 6:52 pm

Erin (Guest)

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Honestly, Colin is lucky Fara showed up at all. I really, really don't want them to get together. Colin is a douchecastle. He's getting better, but that isn't really very hard considering where he started from.

Also, Fara/Vincent OTP

Edit: I just want to say that everyone is forgivable/ redeemable. On the other hand, I don't think that any kind of honest redemption would lead to Fara getting together with Colin.

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January 11th, 2015, 8:01 pm

cathyfan (Guest)

2nd the motion

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ship fara/vincent

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January 11th, 2015, 10:00 pm

Quinis

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Is Colin forgivable...
I want to say no but he appears to be trying. And Rain herself has forgiven him.
But, that had to hurt Fara. Here she is, at that point the only person in Rain's family on her side and the guy she's with berates her for it.
I don't think there's hope for them as a couple. (I know we can't really get the tone of what he's saying but it seems like) Colin showed that he's got a temper. He overreacted yes, but he did so to someone he's supposed to care about.
Also, it seems to me that he's doing it for himself. Trying to make himself feel better about how he reacted. Maybe he was thinking that he's not a good person because of it (because, oh no, someone thinks he's bad) and is trying to redeem himself for himself. Does that makes sense?

Basically I agree with Fara. I don't know if he's forgivable.

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January 12th, 2015, 8:00 pm

Keiya (Guest)

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@Quinis: Forgiveness is as much for the forgiver as the forgiven, though. I think Fara is smart enough to know that.

Of course, that doesn't mean they should necessarily get back together. It'd be perfectly reasonable for her to forgive him, conclude from this that they aren't a good fit, and move on with her life separately.

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January 11th, 2015, 10:23 pm

Don Edwards (Guest)

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When society as a whole has a prejudice about a situation most people will never have to knowingly deal with, I'm willing to be somewhat tolerant of people reflecting that societal prejudice the first time they encounter that situation.

Somewhat. The first time.

Colin may have gone beyond that "somewhat" when he attacked Fara and accused her of forcing something on Rain.

And if not... he's made amends to Rain and therefore earned a chance to make amends - and, more importantly, apologize - to Fara. As well as show that he has himself moved beyond that societal prejudice.

I think he'd better start pretty soon.

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January 11th, 2015, 10:28 pm

Lenn

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I think we'd need to know more about the guy before we decide if he should be forgiven, really.

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January 11th, 2015, 10:33 pm

Tien (Guest)

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Eh. That would not be okay for me, ever. Thanks for realizing that you were wrong, but whatever interest I would have had would be gone. Not only was he horribly offensive to trans people in general, he made a direct slam against her parenting Rain.

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January 12th, 2015, 1:01 am

Allie (Guest)

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"Overreacted" isn't the problem, Colin.

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January 12th, 2015, 1:11 am

Allie (Guest)

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If I was Fara, I'd *try* to follow Rain's lead. I don't think it's other people's place to continue to hold grudges on behalf of someone who's forgiven the person (or to forgive someone for something they did to someone else, either, incidentally). But I might have difficulty, since I actually heard what was said. And I certainly wouldn't want to date him again (and nor do I want Farah to, that would be icky)

As for Colin himself, I think any amount of ignorance - and I do think what he said, however harmful and bigoted, was coming from a place of believing transphobic narratives about the kid's own interest rather than one of actual malice - has some chance of being remedied. But he can't expect Rain or Farah to forgive or trust him, and he certainly can't expect them to do so just cos he said sorry or w/e

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January 12th, 2015, 2:20 am

Guest

perception

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problem with Colin is he really don't know if he was speaking of surprise and hurt/ignorance. Or was he acting out of malice, and bigotry

Personally, I think we have to split the difference here. at least give them a chance to explain himself. When you are emotionally sideswiped someone you care about is always a chance that out of your pain, anger, etc. you'll say something truly regretful.

afterword when you cool down
you will have that. Oh my God moment I can't believe I said that what hell was I thinking. Colin clearly in that boat and now. Until we see, we don't know enough of him know the genuinely being sincere or self-serving again only by talking tool we find out.
By means he's wise enough to admit he screwed up and is willing to try to make amends

Time will tell. Either way

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January 12th, 2015, 2:52 am

Kimiko_0

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>is Colin forgivable?
Maybe, but I don't feel it yet.

>If you were Rain's guardian, would you be having coffee with this guy after what he said?
No. Not after those words.

>We've since seen him in Rain's presence, but can we assume he's had a change of heart as Aiken has, or was Colin just biting his tongue for the sake of being civil in front of Fara?
At first I thought it was a change of heart, like Aiken, but now that I read his exact words, I don't think he's come around this quickly. It's one thing to follow societal prejudice, but quite another to be that nasty about it, and then blame Fara too.

>And following all of that, is there hope for Fara and Colin?
Unfortunately, maybe there is. Fara does seem to be a little desperate. I wish she would realize Vincent would be so much better for her though.

>Should there be?
No. Fara×Vincent OTP.

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January 12th, 2015, 3:03 am

r4di4r (Guest)

On forgiving.

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Long-time reader here, and I wanted to congratulate and thank you for such a heartfelt, sincere story, Jocelyn, especially as a fellow trans* person.

As for your questions, I admit it feels like they hit too close to home, because forgiveness is such a fraught subject for me; in a way, I feel that being trans* makes it so hard for me to just let go and forgive myself in the first place, and so I don´t know that forgiveness has ever come easy for me.

But I understood something recently: forgiveness is never owed, but even if you don´t know if you can forgive someone, what you have to let go of is hate, for your own sake, because it warps you so terribly, suffocating insidiously your access to love and joy. So even though I don´t see it as desirable for Fara to reconcile with Colin in a romantic sense (I´m gonna agree with Tien here, questioning her parenting of Rain is the most hurtful thing he could have said), I´m glad that she at least sought him out. Hearing him out shows she´s willing to lay her demons to rest, and that´s what truly concerns me.

As for Colin, of course he can learn and become better. Life, afterall, is nothing but a perpetual chance to grow. But part and parcel of being a better person is realizing precisely that you can´t demand the people you hurt react in the way that would make YOU feel better.

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January 12th, 2015, 6:23 am

Emiko Wisp

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That's the kind of thing I'm always afraid of when I consider coming out to someone. Those words of "grow a pair" are the words I'm always most afraid to hear, and honestly I'm not so sure if he is forgivable after knowing that.

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January 12th, 2015, 8:04 pm

Keiya (Guest)

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@Emiko Wisp: But is it worth it for Fara to carry around a grudge? Forgiveness is for the forgiver as much as the forgiven.

Honestly, I think the best thing for Fara would be to forgive him, thank him for the tickets and the nice times they did have, and then move on.

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January 12th, 2015, 10:13 am

Nesagsar (Guest)

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Respect, trust, and forgiveness are earned. You dont owe it to anyone at all ever. Not your family, your friends, your boss, any celebrity or politician, and certainly not a random person you met and sort of thought was cute but you dont really know them at all. There are enough good people to not have to put up with people like Colin.

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