Awakening

posted July 2nd, 2015, 4:13 pm


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view LittleLynn84's profile

July 2nd, 2015, 4:30 pm

LittleLynn84

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Whoa... O_O

......

......

......

I think the last time I felt this anxious about posting something was probably the day I came out online. I've known this day would come for a very, very long time (and technically speaking, I'm proud of how it came out), but it's still a lot to take in. It's intense, and it's sudden, and it's messed up, and I'm sure a lot of people aren't going to like this.

But yes. That really happened. That part was not a dream.

I'll understand if people are upset, but please bear with me on this one.

On a lighter note, while this is the chapter end, there's still technically one more page (which will be followed by some much needed Rain Delays, I think).


2004-2015
Rain, all characters and all other aspects of the story are copyright material belonging to me.

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April 27th, 2017, 6:00 am

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user comments

July 2nd, 2015, 4:36 pm

Q_Q (Guest)

;_;

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So... that last bit of dialogue in the dream wasn't entirely a dream, was it? Dang, that's cold.

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July 11th, 2015, 7:11 am

Allie (Guest)

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@Q_Q: Oh god I think you're right :/

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July 2nd, 2015, 4:46 pm

Z (Guest)

Fara's gonna go murder her ass

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...

...

...

KELL-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN YOU GET YOUR BUTT OVER HERE RIGHT NOOOOOOOOOOOW

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view Kittys-yay's profile

July 2nd, 2015, 5:02 pm

Kittys-yay

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Oh boy. Looks like there's one less member in the family BECAUSE SHE DEAD. SHE'S SO DEAD. IF NOBODY IN THE COMIC KILLS HEr, I WILL.

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view TallMist's profile

August 2nd, 2015, 1:15 pm

TallMist

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@Kittys-yay: By all means kill her... Just let me be the one to do the torturing first...

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view 00Stevo's profile

July 2nd, 2015, 5:07 pm

00Stevo

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Well..this is...this might take a turn for the worst, because if it was Kellen I think rain might just disown her has family.

On a non-story note, panel 3 of the second page. It's a very different angle to what you usually do, must have been a challenge?

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July 11th, 2015, 7:12 am

Allie (Guest)

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@00Stevo: Um, I don't think you understand. This IS the turn for the worst. Rain disowning Kellen is a detail.

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view SaviourInDistress's profile

July 2nd, 2015, 5:08 pm

SaviourInDistress

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She looks cute with short hair but it should really be a choice. I can't believe Kellen would be such an ****
Don't worry Rain many girls rock the short do! or you can use hair extensions till it grows back.
Please don't cry, you'll make me cry...

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view MediocreArts's profile

July 2nd, 2015, 5:12 pm

MediocreArts

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foil her plan and flaunt the new style! put some flower pins in Rain's hair~

when Kellen's doing something, flaunt it, and eventually she'll give up~ :D

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July 2nd, 2015, 5:33 pm

woah (Guest)

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hoooly crap... i had to reread a few times before the full weight of it hit, bc this is really intense. you're really good at handling heavy topics and this is just... wow. god. kellen is in such deep shit , such a violation of bodily autonomy and consent, just. w o w.

a+ honestly this is such a good couple of pages ;-;

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view Mitani's profile

July 2nd, 2015, 5:48 pm

Mitani

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Wow, I wanna punch Kellen for so many reasons right now.

I mean, good lord cutting someone's hair when they're sleeping is one of the single most stupid things to do - especially if they happen to wake up part way through!

Reasons aside there's better ways to cut someones hair forcibly gosh.

I hope Rain's going to go mental about endangering Emily's baby too. I mean if she were to have woken up to a strange person with scissors over the bed it's safe to say she could have freaked out majorly and that's a big no-no.




Although...
Anything I do say now, is more or less moot in many ways as you will have scripted beyond this point and know exactly where you wish to take the story xD

I'm honestly glad I've stuck with this comic.

- and saying it like that does sound awful, because it kinda is -

I'll explain -

The art style has it's own charm and isn't something I usually keep reading along with. But the narrative is very well done and compared to the first few pages there's a lot of art evolution. The effort and care that has gone into these pages is wonderful.

I can't remember when I started reading, but I can say I'm looking forward to more.

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July 2nd, 2015, 5:54 pm

guest (Guest)

tw: rape

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this is so resemblant to rape
the violation of personal space, the injuring of who she is inside, the "you'll thank me someday"
rain was just basically symbolically raped by her own relative and
ow

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view Ranger's profile

July 2nd, 2015, 7:26 pm

Ranger

:S

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@guest: Yeah. That's...basically the first thing that came to my mind. It's just...very, very much uncomfortable to see.

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July 6th, 2015, 10:16 pm

n/a (Guest)

Disgusting

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@guest: You should be ashamed of yourself to compare something as upsetting but harmless as this to rape. That's a really fucking shitty thing to do, and belittles and demeans actual rape victims. You should be ashamed.

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July 8th, 2015, 2:15 am

efgi (Guest)

Underestimation

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@n/a: I think you're underestimating how much of a violation of another person's personal sovereignty this act is. Sure, it may not be sexual in nature, and it may not come with the risk of pregnancy, but the pain a move like this could cause is on par with rape.

Rain probably feels betrayed, damaged, and invalidated. It will take at least a year for Rain to grow that hair back, and you can bet that tonight and its consequences will be on the docket for many therapy sessions.

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view TallMist's profile

August 2nd, 2015, 1:17 pm

TallMist

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@n/a: Did you just call this harmless? Really?

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July 2nd, 2015, 6:34 pm

Nesagsar (Guest)

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Dysphoria gets people killed. Not being able to pass anymore gets people killed. Kellen is trying to kill Rain. Kellen is a monster.I so need to go to trans support group tomorrow.

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view Ranger's profile

July 3rd, 2015, 12:38 am

Ranger

Yep.

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@Nesagsar: Pretty much, yeah. I need to go do some therapy of my own, because I'm terrified, all because of what happened to Rain.

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July 2nd, 2015, 7:00 pm

SkaryF

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OH No NO NO NO. NO!!

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July 2nd, 2015, 7:06 pm

cathyfan (Guest)

from chapter a

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fara: so,what do you think? it's probably annoying,but at least it hides that mark and all.
i mean,it's only temporary anyway,but of course it's up to you if you really want to wear it like that.

now that kellen has interfered with rain's right to choose how rain chooses to present herself,i think fara & emily should give kellen's hair a very close trim!!!

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view SaviourInDistress's profile

July 2nd, 2015, 7:22 pm

SaviourInDistress

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@cathyfan: I suspect Farah might burn kellens house down when she finds out... I am looking forward to Farah's reaction.

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view Ranger's profile

July 2nd, 2015, 7:33 pm

Ranger

The feels. Hurt. ;_;

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Kellen sucks so much right now, but I think that this in a way COULD help Rain...just not in the way Kellen was hoping for. It could help...by driving her away from a toxic influence (AKA the person who just DID it!), getting Aiken closer to her (he's definitely not going to be happy about this and is going to take her side rather than Kellen's), and get friends to support her, too.

In short, right now, Rain is going to be going through one HELL of a crash. But friends and HELPFUL family are going to help her out.

I hope, anyway.

On that note, if they don't say it, then I will. Rain actually looks cute with her short hair in panel 5 of page 2, particularly. It's...a different look, and might make passing be harder, but it's not a bad look for her and does look nice and still feminine.

Still, though...that violation Kellen did is unforgivable. She's human, not a monster, but she could spend the rest of her life being a saint and I still doubt I'd be willing to forget about her doing THIS.

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July 2nd, 2015, 7:35 pm

Snowwater

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Wow, um.. this was pretty intense o_o I wasn't expecting this at all, seriously. And I'm still quite shocked with this (which I didn't expect would shock me so much). Just like some of the comments said, it's resembles violence, like rape. So disappointed in Kellen..

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July 2nd, 2015, 9:27 pm

Don Edwards (Guest)

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@Snowwater: it doesn't resemble violence, it IS violence. And it's an attempt to exert control over someone else's identity.

If (as seems quite likely) Kellen is the one who did this, she could face criminal charges and should lose both her brothers as well as her sister.

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July 2nd, 2015, 8:00 pm

Guest (Guest)

Apologies Ahead of Time

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Longtime lurker here! Before I get to the apology I wanted to say I love your comic and it is someone I truly look forward to every week :) It has often been the only highlight of my day when I can see a new post here.

With that being said - and I have never said this before in my life - would it be possible to put some sort of warning at the top of these pages? I don't know what or how, but I did not know what to expect from these and it hit me, personally, like a sack full of dysphoria to where it's still hard to breathe. Frankly I'm glad I have therapy tomorrow or this page would have done a number on me.

Once again, love the comic, keep up the good work!

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view april_plus_june's profile

July 2nd, 2015, 8:07 pm

april_plus_june

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I really hope Aiken says something to her about this. Maybe it's just me, but I feel like if anyone will be able to actually make Kellen realize how horrible this is, it'll be her brother. Im afraid that any anger from anyone else is just gonna be white noise to Kellen, with the possible exception of someone punching her in the face (which I sincerely hope happens, because seriously Kellen, the hell is wrong with you).

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July 2nd, 2015, 8:16 pm

Wyllow (Guest)

I Dont Care What Hairstyle...

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I dont care what hair style you have Rain, you are still a beautiful girl.

Aiken at least tried to get over it and didn't try cutting Rain's hair. Kellen, you've gone too far. You don't cut someone's hair while they are sleeping, REGARDLESS of the reasons. That is the G rated version of rape (in the context of being violated).

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view Ranger's profile

July 3rd, 2015, 12:41 am

Ranger

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@Wyllow: I'd say that, frankly, this is as close to rape as we can get in a comic without actually having rape.

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July 2nd, 2015, 8:48 pm

Anon (Guest)

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LOOK This is very important! I need author verification that Rain did not sleep walk cut her hair off!

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July 2nd, 2015, 9:33 pm

Panoctu (Guest)

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I guess the probability of Kellen beeing the culprit is very high and IF she really did it... where the HECK is my sledgehammer?

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July 2nd, 2015, 9:40 pm

Pixie and Gage (Guest)

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If someone did that to one of my babies i'd kill them. I have a hard time understanding other parents who make something so simple as your child being happy into something so horrible let alone pushing that on your other kids. My mother has always been fine with who I am and I will always be fine with who my children are. I truly weep for Rain as someone who knows the pain and as a mother with unconditional love.

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July 4th, 2015, 1:15 am

TheCrazyChickenlady

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@Pixie and Gage: you and your mother are awesome.

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July 2nd, 2015, 9:51 pm

Avistew (Guest)

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Kellen is really horrible, but also horribly stupid. Rain looks just as cute and feminine as she did with long hair. It's not going to change how people see her. It's only damaging her relationship with her sister.

As someone who prefers short hair, I don't feel Rain's pain as much as I could, but I'm still furious because it's obviously hurting her a lot!

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July 2nd, 2015, 9:59 pm

Wyllow (Guest)

Fanart Please

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Someone please draw some fan art of Rain with short hair with the caption "You Are Still Beautiful"

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July 2nd, 2015, 11:19 pm

Don Edwards (Guest)

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@Wyllow: Better: leave out "still".

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July 2nd, 2015, 10:11 pm

anothernelliebly (Guest)

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to quote a show I've been watching a little (okay, a lot) too much of recently, I'm going to colonize [Kellen's] face with my fist.

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July 2nd, 2015, 10:48 pm

Hypatian (Guest)

Oh jeeeeeez

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That is not not not not not not cool at all.

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July 2nd, 2015, 11:44 pm

vlad (Guest)

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can someone explain the wings metaphor to me? because I honestly cant figure out what they are supposed to represent...

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July 3rd, 2015, 2:13 am

anothernelliebly (Guest)

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@vlad: I think the wings are a metaphor for non-cisgenderness. Vincent aside, all the characters who Rain knew were not cisgender had wings- Jessica was a pixie, and Ky(lie) had the paper wings that came on and off as a metaphor for her genderfluidity. Also makes sense in that Kellen was trying to bring her 'baby bro' back by cutting off Rain's wings- aka, by attempting to remove Rain's transness so she would be the brother Kellen remembered (godammit, Kellen). Sorry if I went on for too long, I've wanted to post this like forever.

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view RFZ's profile

July 2nd, 2015, 11:54 pm

RFZ

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Well. This is intense. I just hope it was Kellen who did this, because I always suspect people who aren't as obvious when things like this happen.

Also, YES! RAIN DELAYS AGAIN! I was just reading through them today and wishing they'd make a comeback soon! XD

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July 3rd, 2015, 12:39 am

SchmetterlingGirl

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I don't know if I've ever felt as much hate for any other fictional character as I feel for Kellen right now.

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view TallMist's profile

August 2nd, 2015, 1:21 pm

TallMist

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@SchmetterlingGirl: I totally agree with you. Kellen is the worst character in all of fiction. Even Bella from Twilight. At least Bella doesn't go around hating people for what they are. Hell, she herself is accepting! She dates vampires! Even if they are sparkly.

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July 3rd, 2015, 12:56 am

innocence no proven guilty (Guest)

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now I knows everyone is jumping to the conclusion of the culprit is

we don't know who responsible party is yet or theto circumstances? point is, we shouldn't write off talk about committing violence to Kellen. you will even know she's responsible or involved whatsoever. Also, given the writers talent for twists. I think there's a lot more to this than what we have been given so far as I know it's hard to say but we need to wait for the right to give us more clarity on the situation i.e. innocent until proven guilty

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view Soxry's profile

July 3rd, 2015, 2:30 am

Soxry

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isnt that?? technically a form of assault?? like legally? since hair is part of a human. wtf

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view Laurie_A's profile

July 3rd, 2015, 4:20 am

Laurie_A

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KEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNN!!!!!!! It is time for you to die!!!!!!! Or at least be disowned by the rest of the family.

On a lighter note, Ibet Aiken moves out and goes back to living with Rain and Fara.

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view Ranger's profile

July 3rd, 2015, 11:55 pm

Ranger

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@Laurie_A: It's possible, though that might not be a smooth transition.

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view Laurie_A's profile

July 4th, 2015, 4:04 am

Laurie_A

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I think if Rain and Emily explain things including how Aiken has become much more tolerant and accepting of Rain that Fara accept and let Aiken in. Fara will be pleased with Aiken's progress.

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view TallMist's profile

August 2nd, 2015, 1:22 pm

TallMist

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@Laurie_A: I really hope Aiken does move in with Rain and Fara. Kellen deserves to be miserable and alone.

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July 3rd, 2015, 4:21 am

Laurimy (Guest)

Hairs !!!

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OMG, I took me a long time to realise it was real (thanks Jocelyn to confirm it. I would have feel awful to hope for a "dream in a dream" for a whole week-end). I loved it. Perfectly done (for me).

But, Geez! The hair is kind of a sacred zone. For a very long time, it was the only thing I liked in me. No one were allowed to make a joke without me being fierce about it. Every time I had to go to the hairdresser came with anxiety and with each strand at my foot I remembered the years it took to get the length I had (they used to be very long - as in hip/butt long). Not the mention the day to day care I needed to do. I really loved my hairs!

So Rain, I feel your pain. And I'm sorry. I'm very, very sorry. Fara, you couldn't believe how much we all count on you to make it even ! Please, don't be quiet :)

On an other note, while I found people comparing this to a rape. Please don't. Yes, it is horrible, yes it's a violation of her body, but it has nothing to do with rape. Although for a children-oriented comic, it might been seen as coming as close to a rape (And just for that, it point out how Jocelyn is an extraordinary writer).

In the end, I would just like to thank the writer for such great stories, symbolisms, struggles, love and cuteness you put in Rain while still been children oriented. For all our reactions and what it made us feel, THANK YOU !!!

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July 3rd, 2015, 11:33 am

Microrapter (Guest)

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@Laurimy: Actually, the comparison between forceably cutting a transgirl's hair to make her look more masculine and and rape is apt. An act like this could very well give Rain intense psychological trauma that lasts for a long time. We tend to laugh off events that don't leave physical marks, but their effect on someone is no less devastating.

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July 3rd, 2015, 4:43 am

Rain Dreamer (Guest)

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While I hate that someone did this to Rain, I also hope that she will emerge from this stronger. Her hair doesn't define her, her looks doesn't define her, even her body is not what defines her. Maybe after this ordeal she will learn that important lesson and become a much stronger woman.

As for Kellen, we have not seen evidences pointing toward her yet, but I think if she see how distressing Rain is, she will see first hand how dysphoria ruin a life, and hopefully turn around, if she has any compassion left for her sibling.

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July 3rd, 2015, 6:33 am

Pacce (Guest)

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This is the first time in a long while that a fiction has made me MAD and not in a "this is badly written way." I mean, this makes perfect narrative and character sense, it's just so damn mean.
Like this ruined my day actually.
Not to say I wish you hadn't made it, just damn. This hurts.

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July 3rd, 2015, 6:43 am

Jacana (Guest)

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I can imagine Rain is going to be upset for a while (and rightfully so), but eventually she'll realize people are still treating her as a girl; and I assume they probably will because, to me at least, she still looks like one.

Long hair is not a requirement, but I imagine it was a hell of a confidence booster for her more than anything.

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July 3rd, 2015, 6:55 am

Nick (Guest)

OH NOOOOO

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RAIIIIIIIIIIN. NOOOOOOOOO. IT'S OK RAIN TT_TT OMG I need to digest this information, holy wow.

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July 3rd, 2015, 9:28 am

Alison Scarlet (Guest)

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Kellen needs to be punched in the face.

With a truck.

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view TallMist's profile

August 2nd, 2015, 1:26 pm

TallMist

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@Alison Scarlet: More like an asteroid. Or God's fist.

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July 3rd, 2015, 10:30 am

Ash (Guest)

RAGE

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OMG, this is going to have me pissed off for the rest of the day, or at least until I can get it out of my mind. I keep feeling that I should go to the other room and slap the S*** out of Kellen before remembering that this is RL. I hope Aiken has the good sense to side with Rain, and immediately go out and buy her a wig.

Also Very well written, you do good work.

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July 3rd, 2015, 10:33 am

Microrapter (Guest)

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Kellen shall forever be known to me as Mitt Romney.

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view Drakanor Dream's profile

July 3rd, 2015, 10:34 am

Drakanor Dream

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Welp looks like someone has raised a mob against them ...

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July 3rd, 2015, 11:28 am

TheCrazyChickenlady

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one sec, i'm just getting my sword for revenge...

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July 3rd, 2015, 11:45 am

Zeal (Guest)

Wait, she has two?

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So, whilst everyone else is going on about the symbolism, violation, etc. the first thing to go through my mind was 'Holy crap, now we can see both of her eyes!' :O

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July 3rd, 2015, 12:29 pm

Spectator (Guest)

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Y'know, Kellen has been annoying at worst so far, and I was thinking of the myriad of ways she was going to make me mad and hurt Rain.

This may not be as over-the-top as I imagined, but my god this won't stop making me mad.

Also, to those who say that there's no proof Kellen did it...Who else could it be but the trans phobic older sister, who was the only one still awake when everyone else was asleep?

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July 3rd, 2015, 12:53 pm

Haldo (Guest)

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Last night I gave myself a minor freakout because I thought someone had changed my Mii name back to my birth name... It turned out I just hadn't changed my name on the Wii U yet, just on my 3DS ^_^; I can't imagine how I'd take it if something like that happened to me on THIS scale

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July 3rd, 2015, 2:39 pm

loveturtles

Wait

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I thought the hair was a wig? (remembering from when Rain had to look like a boy for her bro) So Rain grew out her hair so she didn't have to wear a wig anymore?

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view SaviourInDistress's profile

July 3rd, 2015, 2:50 pm

SaviourInDistress

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@loveturtles: She never cut her hair when she was pretending in front of Aiken. She tied it back and just changed her clothes.

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July 3rd, 2015, 3:09 pm

Dawn (Guest)

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@loveturtles:
When Rain dressed as a boy, she still had long hair, tied in a ponytail, and Aiken thought "he" was in a band.

The fact that she had long hair actually contributed to his realization that she was trans.

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July 3rd, 2015, 4:24 pm

Sontalak (Guest)

Punch? Punch!

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I don't think I've ever felt the urge to punch a fictional character nearly as hard as I wish I could punch Kellen right now. Not even DIO or Matou Zouken inspired this much urge to punch in face (and for the unfamiliar, both of them are pretty nasty pieces of work)

Unlike Aiken, who has at least been shown to be making an effort. Kellen may well have passed into "irredeemable" status. I don't care what actions she takes from this point on, she's crossed the final line. She could live to be a thousand, and spend every day from here on trying to make up for this and still not pay off the karmic debt.

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July 3rd, 2015, 6:24 pm

Stephanie (Guest)

OMG...

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Hair's very important to us, it should be OUR choice when and how it's cut and to have that taken away from us can be devastating. I've been more or less forced to cut my hair twice now and each time, it threw me into a dysphoric tailspin.

I managed to claw my way forward again, but there will be a day when only I have complete control over my appearance and presentation.

Rain will overcome, but whoever did this horrible thing should be shunned.

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view mj1343's profile

July 3rd, 2015, 7:28 pm

mj1343

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Holy fudge! O.o

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view R.I.P's profile

July 3rd, 2015, 8:30 pm

R.I.P

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Awwww, Rain, darling, I know you didn't want it and it certainly should never have been done to you without your consent..., but you can rock that look! I hope that happens because I hate people using awful tactics to try and hurt others and stamp all over them.

(As a girl with short hair myself... who also has a thing for cute girls with short hair...I was actually devastated by this page. Whilst I hate having long hair, I can understand why it would be a crutch of Rain's. I just hope Emily can help comfort her and make her see that she doesn't need long hair to be the lil lady she is, and Rain can turn this terrible attack on a person into something a bit more positive and grow further.)

(Also I now wantt to draw Rain with short hair...)

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July 3rd, 2015, 11:27 pm

Zaralass (Guest)

Literally my worst nighmare.

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(I was a little hesitant to comment as I didn't want to worry or upset the author, but just to be clear, I'm not angry or upset with the author, only the fact that what happened to Rain is a reality for some people.)

I know just how important and how intertwined my hair is to my identity. I know just how devastated I would be if someone without my consent cut my hair short. I imagine Rain and I are somewhat alike there.

I mean, hair is often the first and the most lasting change a transperson, especially growing it for transgirls, makes. Pre-op, at least in my case, it's the only part of my body I consider to be perfectly fine as it is. To have that taken away and to put their own hair against someone, in this case Rain, is something I genuinely consider equal to, if not worse than sexual assault. At least in a traumatic sense, seeing as this is *family* who is tearing apart someone's identity.

So if Rain can get through this, then that will be an inspiration to us all, and all of our struggles. Strong, good writing as usual, and keep the comics and love flowing! <3

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July 4th, 2015, 1:17 am

TheCrazyChickenlady

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i've got feeling kellen is getting disowned by fara, rain and aiken for doing this.

scratch that, she will be brutally tortured by Auntie Bear.

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view Trassa's profile

July 4th, 2015, 2:24 am

Trassa

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Now that I've finished rereading the entire comic again I'm gonna post on this. Man. MAN. This is some serious shit right here. I mean I'm cis so I don't get what the whole dysphoria thing feels like. But I do know that it is serious and very very damaging for people and that stuff like this does happen in real life and it's absolutely horrid. You can't treat people like that it's terrible and could even lead to their deaths. My heart goes out to anyone that has had to go through something like this; and to those that sadly may still go through something like this. All of those people are in my prayers and I dearly hope our world can become more and more accepting of people as time goes on.

On another note I know Rain will be able to get through this though it will not at all be easy for her. And anyone else who has/is/will experience this You are also strong enough to get through your trials even though it will hurt and when you do come out of it in the end, you will be stronger than you were before.

I love all of you out there. And thank you Jocelyn for writing such an amazing comic; keep it up.

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July 5th, 2015, 5:17 am

Lenneth (Guest)

Dredges up some depressing Thoughts.

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Kellen reminds me a lot of my biological younger sister....

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July 5th, 2015, 10:33 pm

Zin (Guest)

From the future

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More pages have been added, but I felt the need to comment on this one. I'm a cis gender girl with naturally short hair and I flipped my shit when my cousin cut my hair in my sleep when I was a (pre)teen. I can't imagine that happening with the added insecurity of being a trans girl, especially one who is terrified of not passing. If any of you have been subject to violation of any sort by anyone, relative or other, know you have my empathy and support. (:

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July 6th, 2015, 3:36 am

comicgirl

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And Kellan is worse than Aiden.

I didn't think she would be. I mean, she was stupid and stubborn but God.

Of course we all know it was her. Aiden wouldn't. He's better now. Even thinking about his ex and probably missing her.

No one else would want to. IT. Was. That. Bitch. And I pray she will rue the day.

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July 6th, 2015, 8:07 pm

Anonymous11243

Horrifying

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If someone cut my hair off, I would kill myself. I would legitimately go into the medicine cabinet and take every pill in sight, plus hit myself on the head with a frying pan and attempt to hang myself with a scarf. I say all this, and I'm a cisgender girl. I can't even begin to comprehend how much more pain it would cause for a trans girl.

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July 10th, 2015, 4:51 am

Guest

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Damn it, Kellen!

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July 11th, 2015, 7:09 am

Allie (Guest)

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Oh my god. I have nightmares like this :( I hope something gets cut off Kellen

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July 11th, 2015, 7:27 am

Allie (Guest)

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From when I first started growing my hair out when I was about 15 or 16 to when I finally transitioned (4 years ago, in my early 20s), I cut it short about once a year, ostensibly because all that hair was a lot of work to maintain and kept me too warm in the summer, but in hindsight I think it was a form of purging. The last time I did that (when I dyed it green at the same time, so I gave myself the added justification that my long curly hair would look weird green so if I wanted to dye it I should cut it short enough not to show the curls) was only a few months before I transitioned socially. So I bought a wig as soon as I could find a wig shop after I transitioned. When circumstances forced me to move back in with my mum a month or so later, it went missing and never turned up. I've always suspected that she threw it out, although she's never admitted it (and I've stopped mentioning it, since she's much more supportive now and clearly feels a lot of guilt that she wasn't supportive from the start, so I'm worried that she'd experience me bringing that up again as being punished which I don't want to do). And I've constantly been paranoid that if I chose the wrong hairdresser or something I'd end up losing my own hair as well

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July 14th, 2015, 1:37 am

Flood (Guest)

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I totally thought that pony tail was a dead animal at first.

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view TallMist's profile

August 2nd, 2015, 12:53 pm

TallMist

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DAMMIT, KELLEN! I HATE YOU, KELLEN! I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU, KELLEN!!!!!!!! Did I mention I hate Kellen? I reaaallllyyy hate her.

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August 5th, 2015, 9:35 am

melanon68 (Guest)

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After reading this page I instinctively grabbed my hair to make sure it was still there and real, then cried while writing this.
Growing my hair out was the first thing I did when starting transition and my decision not to cut it was directly tied to me coming out to myself. That decision also sparked a number of coming out's and was also the only physical evidence of my identity for a while.

I don't often comment anywhere, but this got to me. I think the number of comments here shows just how much hair means to a lot of us.

*goes back to stroking hair and crying*

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view Nesagsar's profile

September 16th, 2015, 6:09 pm

Nesagsar

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It's been a few months and I re-read Rain quite often. This page still gives me a very strong emotional response, not a good one. Earlier today I was reading a page where Ky and Rain were discussing the growing of hair and Rain stated how much she loves it long. I have to pass as male, I wish I didnt have to but hair is a thing may people strive for an idealized form and I think I would like mine longer. Kellen deserves to lose a family over this.

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view Maplestrip's profile

December 31st, 2015, 9:45 am

Maplestrip

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And this is why I was not looking forward to re-reading this chapter. Oh well, it is definitely less gutting the second time.

One worrisome thing is that my family kinda teases me about cutting my hair in my sleep. Of course they won't actually do that, but it's not a tease I appreciate. Hrr...

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April 9th, 2016, 8:59 pm

Jamye (Guest)

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*crying*

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August 24th, 2016, 6:24 pm

Razzy (Guest)

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....No. just no. Why? Who the hell does something like that!?! Like I just- Omg. I can't I'm literally so angry right now. WHAT KIND OF SISTER DOES THAT WHAT THE ACTUAL HECK. I'm SO FREAKING DONE WITH KELLEN. I GAVE HER LITERALLY SO MANY CHANCES I KEPT THINKING "Maybe she'll accept her soon" Or "It'll just take sometime." BUT THIS?!? NO. Just freaking no,you can't just do that. You can't just UGH, ICAN'T I'M SO FREAKING PISSED.

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April 6th, 2017, 7:38 am

Toni (Guest)

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Massive violation, and unforgivable.

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