All That I Am

posted April 11th, 2016, 7:44 pm


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view LittleLynn84's profile

April 11th, 2016, 8:02 pm

LittleLynn84

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Remember that time I said I'd never do another three-pager? ^^;

Anyway, REALLY early update! You didn't want to wait to see how this turned out. I didn't want an extra day of agonizing over second-guessing myself (interestingly, considering the context). And it's the last post of a very, very long chapter with a hiatus to follow (return date to be announced another time). So, here we are.

Philosophical question for you all: what is more foolish? Trying something even though you know could fail and the consequences for failure could be exceptionally bad? Or not even trying, even though you very well could succeed, and the reward for success would be exceptionally good? Is either really foolish? Is there a right or wrong answer?

Whether or not you agree with Rain and Emily's actions though, it's still what they chose. Maybe it's a mistake. And if so, they'll have to discover that for themselves and learn from it. That's what growing up is. If it's not a mistake, there will surely still be hardships and things to learn in their future. There's no easy answer, because it's almost never black and white.

But looking at this purely in present tense, these girls both have so much weighing on them right now. And if they believe pursuing this feels right, then I hope it works out for them. ^_^


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September 25th, 2017, 10:06 am

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view Snow Lilly's profile

April 11th, 2016, 8:05 pm

Snow Lilly

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*Dead*

@LittleLynn84: "Philosophical question for you all"

Neither. Being emotionally driven isn't foolish and neither is being a cautious realist. What is foolish would be making a decision while not fully understanding the possible consequences. Rain and Emily seem to understand them and are very mature for their age.

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April 13th, 2016, 11:14 am

Barnarnar

Exactly!

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@Snow Lilly: Yes! You said it better than I could, but that is what I would have said if I had the words.

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view Nesagsar's profile

April 11th, 2016, 8:14 pm

Nesagsar

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No words.

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April 11th, 2016, 9:13 pm

Guest

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@Nesagsar: you just said 2 :P PUNPUNPUNPUNPUN

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April 11th, 2016, 8:24 pm

Dzaka (Guest)

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the U.S.S Rainily is now set sail and out in deep water

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April 12th, 2016, 8:02 pm

Guest

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@Dzaka: Holy ship.

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April 11th, 2016, 9:13 pm

TGilmore (Guest)

Philosphical, eh?

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Well, they say "It's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all," and I'm somewhat inclined to agree. On the other hand, maybe sometimes the stakes are so high that it isn't.
Personally I like the Hedgehog Dilemma approach, which is that all people are like hedgehogs in the cold. We want to cuddle up together for warmth so we don't freeze, but when they get too close they spike each other with their spines. As a result it goes one of two ways:

-> the hedgehogs don't overcome their fears of getting hurt by someone else's spines and stay cold and isolated, but at least they aren't going to get hurt by anyone else right?

-> they overcome the fear and huddle for warmth, accepting that sometimes their spikes will hurt each other and sometimes they will themselves get hurt, but despite all of this, it is worth it because they keep warm.

Everyone has their own spines, and we all choose whether we huddle or not, and what's worthwhile.

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April 13th, 2016, 12:22 am

Yan Mouson

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@TGilmore: D'awww. Here's a picture of baby hedgehogs kissing for you.
http://comps.canstockphoto.com/can-stock-photo_csp1618250.jpg

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April 11th, 2016, 9:27 pm

vlad (Guest)

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Not to spoil the moment... but the second page doesn't have a copyright mark...

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April 11th, 2016, 9:34 pm

AroAce127 (Guest)

HYPEHYPEHYPE

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HYPEHYPEHYPEHYPEHYPEHYPEHYPEHYPE I'M SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW YOU HAVE NO IDEA AND I'M JUST LIKE AGGGHHGHGHGHH

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view TheMorgueWatch's profile

April 11th, 2016, 9:55 pm

TheMorgueWatch

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You hear that? That is the sound of a heck ton of fans screaming in hurrah because THEY FINALLY KISSED HURRAH

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April 11th, 2016, 10:00 pm

The Aussie Bloke (Guest)

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There is a sound coming out of my mouth. I can't hear it, but the neighbourhood dogs are going mental

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April 11th, 2016, 10:13 pm

Celes (Guest)

QQ

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I'm crying this is perfect!

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view 00Stevo's profile

April 11th, 2016, 10:41 pm

00Stevo

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huh, Emily's eyes are a slightly darker green then Rain's, I always thought they were the same shade.

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April 11th, 2016, 11:11 pm

Valwen (Guest)

Go for it!

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That question reminds me of the very act of transitioning. All your old problems of self worth, depression and fears are still there but you take upon yourself new problems in the hopes that in time just being who you need to be will ease both old and new.

In this case Rain has a small family but one that as a whole truly cares and that could easily turn Emily's troubles from terrifying to manageable. And on Rains side having someone who truly lives her for who she is is so valuable, plus being a mother to Emily's child is literally her life's dream.

In short if being trans has taught me anything it's that taking a chance at being happy is worth it even if it could go very wrong.

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view Anna Rei's profile

April 12th, 2016, 12:22 am

Anna Rei

It will be hard

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It will be hard but nothing worth doing is ever easy. I am glad for them and thanks for the kiss. I been so waiting for this and it is so worth it. I will be praying everyday now for more and for your SRS to go well when it finally comes. Best wishes and I will be here waiting for more and I hopefully will get to buy the 4th book to go with my other three coming soon tomorrow. My dream is to some day get my SRS done to. It as been a dream of mine to long of just being a girl and no male getting in my way anymore. I at least for now have the boobs and hips and act and think a lot like a female and just a little a male at times but I still love working or cars and building computers as I am the Gear Head type. I love to build, repair, and make things. I am told I am mescaline for it but I do not care. I know lots of females that did to. Doesn't make me a male one bit I think. Just male like... like a tomboy as I always felt I was. Many think I am lucky I am part male and part female. I just never liked being male at all. I mostly only worked on and raced cars cause that was the only closest male like thing I could find to have anything in common to do with my father when I was young growing up and trying to be just as male at first as I was told I should be. I just ended up loving doing it so much I could not stop even to be just a normal female as I so wanted. :P

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April 12th, 2016, 12:46 am

Arcanist Lupus (Guest)

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*continued from Monday's comments*


KISS! KISS! KISS! KISS! KISS!

*cheers*


This is probably not the wisest decision they could make. But as they say in Terre D'Ange, "Love as thou wilt". They are not entering this blindly, and that gives them strength.

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April 13th, 2016, 7:52 am

Dzaka (Guest)

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@Arcanist Lupus: FINALLY!!!!! someone else with good taste in literature :3

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April 12th, 2016, 12:57 am

Silva Lunae (Guest)

I caught up :0

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I caught up :D
I caught up |D
I CAUGHT UP ||||D
oao;;;; and now to wait

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view Fairportfan's profile

April 12th, 2016, 1:18 am

Fairportfan

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Regarding your question, since this is the launching of a ship. it seems appropriate to quote the words of John Paul Jones:

"It seems to me a law of nature, inflexible and inexorable, that those who will not risk cannot win."

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view Anna Rei's profile

April 12th, 2016, 1:53 am

Anna Rei

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@Fairportfan: I have found that to be so very true. Without great risk there is not great reward. :P

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April 12th, 2016, 2:11 am

just another passerby (Guest)

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if they make this a public relationship then rains gonna be called a boy even more :(

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view TiroFinale's profile

April 12th, 2016, 4:18 am

TiroFinale

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@just another passerby: And then the people calling her a guy get their ass kicked by a pissed pregnant lady

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view Barn0wl's profile

April 14th, 2016, 5:33 am

Barn0wl

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@TiroFinale: ROFLMAO!

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April 12th, 2016, 6:05 am

vicky_michelle (Guest)

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@just another passerby: Why would you think that making a relationship public would make Rain be called a boy? She seems to present a very feminine persona (probably because mentally she is female) and most people pick up on that.
Also, people who do not know the two of them may mistake them for sisters, close friends, or what they are lesbians (& yes i know that at least one of them does not self ID as that). The people who do know them are just going to be happy for them or they are going to think they are bi-sexual (since both have dated guys) or lesbians.

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April 12th, 2016, 3:43 pm

AMM (Guest)

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@vicky_michelle:

Agreed. The mere fact that a girl is hanging out with another girl is hardly reason for even homophobic transphobes to assume that one of them isn't a girl. At most in a lesbian relationship, but only if they act lovey-dovey in public.

Plus, if Emily is living with Fara and Rain (which I hope she does -- Emily is _beyond_ latchkey at the moment! I'm surprised Child Protective Services hasn't stepped in), that would make it even more natural that they'd be interacting a lot.

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April 12th, 2016, 5:34 am

just another passerby (Guest)

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@trirofinale: without a doubt.

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April 12th, 2016, 7:07 am

(V)(;,;)(V) (Guest)

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Hrm... Remember Finagle's Law? Anything that can go wrong, will- and at the worst possible moment. $100 says this won't last.

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April 12th, 2016, 7:37 am

AroAce127 (Guest)

DON'T

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@(V)(;,;)(V): DON'T PISS ON MY HOPES AND DREAMS.

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April 13th, 2016, 8:06 am

-\_("/)_/- (Guest)

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(V)(;,;)(V): I see your $100 and raise you $120.

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April 12th, 2016, 7:50 am

Miguel (Guest)

Squeeeeee!

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...I think my comment title said everything I'm feeling right now. Carry on.

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view TallMist's profile

April 12th, 2016, 8:11 am

TallMist

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*Internally screaming with so many different emotions*

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view Marvin12Mcm's profile

April 12th, 2016, 10:48 am

Marvin12Mcm

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*launches fireworks in celebration*

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April 12th, 2016, 11:18 am

Allie (Guest)

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Squeeeeeeeeee :D

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April 12th, 2016, 11:20 am

Jade (Guest)

AHHHH

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OMG THIS JUST MADE MY DAY PERFECT IM SO HAPPY AHHHHHH

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view Drakanor Dream's profile

April 12th, 2016, 11:40 am

Drakanor Dream

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So who won how much out of Maria, Gavin, Rudy and Chanel?

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April 12th, 2016, 3:38 pm

Chandelure (Guest)

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How do I say that, without sounding insulting...

Can someone, who is a better Artist than JoceLynn paint the last page again? I don't mind her Art Style most of the Time, but I want this moment to look beautifull.

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April 13th, 2016, 1:47 pm

Ohulan Cutash (Guest)

That's not fair

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@Chandelure: In the most respectful possible way... not like that? Something positive like 'I can't wait to see the fanart of that last panel, please guys get on that!' would have been better if you want to see it in a different style. And it's not fair to frame that as 'better' - fair enough if you're not fond of a certain style but that's subjective. I happen to love Jocelyn's art - I think it has all the best things in common with her storytelling, to me it's elegant and expressive and somehow very human and kind. Similarly I feel like you're giving a disrespectful lack of credit for the beauty that is in this scene, even regardless of the art - the complexity and the relatability of the characters, the amount we care about their emotions, the tension and the love in the scene, the perfect dialogue... all those things are Jocelyn's, and even if you want a different visual rendition of the panel to capture that, some recognition to the person who crafted the beauty you're inspired to subjectively seek out wouldn't go amiss.

Sorry, you're catching flak partly because I'm having a bad day. I get that you probably didn't want to insult anyone and I'm sorry for this being a somewhat harsh reply.

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April 12th, 2016, 3:54 pm

AMM (Guest)

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@LittleLynn84:

I'm not sure what "exceptionally bad consequences" you are thinking of.

The worst consequence I can imagine is Rain and Emily being unable to stand being in the same home because of relationship drama, and it would most likely be Emily who would suffer the consequence -- not being able to live with Rain and Fara and losing their support. (I would even worry about suicide risk if Emily has to go it alone.)

I may be coming at this from a different perspective than a lot of people here because I've been through marriage, kids, and an emotionally difficult divorce, and in my view, the absolute most important thing is to maintain a working relationship with the parent of your children. Because, in my view, the children come first.

As long as Rain and Emily can hold on to being decent to one another regardless of whether or how their romance works out and can put the needs of the baby ahead of their own drama, it will be okay. That might end up being quite a stretch for Rain, though.

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April 12th, 2016, 11:04 pm

castlemaid

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"Philosophical question for you all: what is more foolish? Trying something even though you know could fail and the consequences for failure could be exceptionally bad? Or not even trying, even though you very well could succeed, and the reward for success would be exceptionally good? Is either really foolish? Is there a right or wrong answer?"

this made me directly think about me and my girlfriend. This comic one ups itself with every post in my perception

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view Anna Rei's profile

April 13th, 2016, 2:50 am

Anna Rei

I am so happy

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I am so happy every time I see the page of the kiss at the end. It makes me feel hopeful and that there is some one there for me to some where to. :P

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April 13th, 2016, 8:16 am

(-_-) (Guest)

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Rain's going to be a mommy?

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view Anon-ish's profile

April 13th, 2016, 10:08 am

Anon-ish

Sqweel!

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I just wanted to let everyone know I said "yay"
That is all, I'll be returning to my chair now.

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April 13th, 2016, 8:48 pm

Vicky_Michelle (Guest)

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@Anon-ish: I love the pic! Is there a shirt/sticker/magnet with that saying?

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view Anon-ish's profile

April 14th, 2016, 5:53 pm

Anon-ish

Unsure

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@Vicky_Michelle: I haven't seen one but I have seen (and own 2) asexual illuminati shirts (a sarcastic design playing off that some people don't believe we exist, we'll prove them wrong by taking over the world some day mwhahahaha).
You can get your own design printed onto a shirt, the group: total freedom ace designs on Facebook does a lot of great ace flags and banner designs that can easily be put into a shirt.

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view Anna Rei's profile

April 13th, 2016, 2:55 pm

Anna Rei

I got my books

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Got my Rain books today and I am so happy I get to read the extras finally. Looking forward to getting book 4 now. More books to add to my collection of Transgender books of web comics I read and manga. :P

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April 13th, 2016, 9:42 pm

just another passerby (Guest)

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then fara bursts in "WHATS THIS RACKET? GET TO SLE-"

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view Barn0wl's profile

April 14th, 2016, 5:46 am

Barn0wl

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First off, I must add my SQUEEEEEE!!! to the general clamor. :D This page ... that kiss just made my day! (Well, night actually ... )

In answer to the philosophical debate: It has been my experience and observation that generally it is better to pursue love and face the risk involved, than to never take the leap out of fear of getting hurt. Yes, if you take the chance, tell the person what you feel, you may get hurt. Even if the relationship starts out great, you can still face a bumpy future. But the rewards of loving someone and being loved outweigh those risks. Then too, if you hold back and never take the step, you can be sure to never have had that chance at love and face a lifetime of constantly wondering "what if ...?".

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April 14th, 2016, 3:57 pm

Guest

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I don't ship it, but I really like this chapter ending. Hm.

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April 15th, 2016, 1:44 am

OwlEyes (Guest)

Nicely done

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I've never shipped these two, not because I don't like them together, but because neither of them really seem emotionally stable enough to actually have a healthy relationship for the time being. Anyway, despite the fact that I think they are being idiots these last few scenes have been sooo well executed. It was cute, and sad, and emotional. Everything was great. Im excited to see the next chapter. Don't Forget To Be Awesome!

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April 21st, 2016, 9:59 pm

relevantelephant (Guest)

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AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH <3 <3 <3 <3

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