Envy

posted June 21st, 2016, 4:29 pm


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June 21st, 2016, 4:34 pm

LittleLynn84

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I relate to a lot of this page more than I think I like to admit. Confusing attraction with envy. Beating myself up because someone else looks better than me. Having my friends politely tell me to shut up because I look fine. I'm not nearly as bad as I used to be about any of this, but it's definitely a process I've experienced a lot throughout my teens and twenties. Something I'm sure a lot of trans folk go through, to be honest.

And the last two panels, in case you've forgotten, remind us that Rain's endo date is coming up soon. I don't know why Rudy and Chanel always end up being the first two people Rain tells about advances in her transition. It's not really intentional on my part; it just kinda always ends up being them (although you can probably assume Emily's been told off-screen; even if they weren't dating, it'd be hard for her to not hear about this with their current living conditions). XD


©2004-2016
Rain, all characters and all other aspects of the story are copyright material belonging to me.

As you may probably know by now, I'm saving up for my (hopefully) upcoming SRS date in a few months. If you're able, you can help me out. Buying books, or shirts, or just plain donations are all very helpful right now. Our Etsy shop is back open too, for bracelets and wristbands. Obviously, if you are unable to or don't want to offer anything monetary, that's totally fine and I completely understand. There are other ways you can help. Like voting for Rain on TopWebComics or joining/sharing the Facebook page (or even just telling your friends!) can help spread the word about my work. Thanks for anything you can do; no hard feelings if you can't. ^_^

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July 26th, 2017, 7:38 am

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June 21st, 2016, 5:22 pm

jus'sayin'ello (Guest)

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On the one hand, *SQUEE* starting hormones *SQUEE*

On the other hand....hormones are SO. DAMN. SLOW. Stupid second puberty lasting just as long as puberty ever decides to last. Yeah, for some of us our brains finally start to feel...like home? is that a good description?...within a couple of weeks or months, but our bodies...some things take a while.

Hope she doesn't get too frustrated with the wait. She's totally the type of girl to stare in the mirror every morning scrutinizing for changes. At times an irresistible impulse, but certainly not a helpful one.

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June 21st, 2016, 5:37 pm

PerfectErin

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I relate pretty hard to this page too. One of my managers came out right before I started hormones, so I sometimes feel that sense of "damn, she's ahead of me."

Just need to keep reminding ourselves, it's not a race.

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June 21st, 2016, 6:55 pm

Danielle (Guest)

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I spent many years of my life not being able to tell the difference between envy and attraction...

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June 21st, 2016, 10:02 pm

Guest

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@Danielle: They can be very similar emotions, especially if you don't know what you're envious of.

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view Anna Rei's profile

June 22nd, 2016, 12:24 am

Anna Rei

First time

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WARNING First time starting HRT can be very dangerous and even be life threading. As some people have very bad reactions at first. So never do it with out much help of doctors I have to say. First time I did it it was on my own and I took to much and it was really bad on me. I never cried so much in my whole life for that 4 weeks I have to say. It can be very painful if done wrong to. And there are emotion ups and downs and mental problem it can cause. Please do not do it all on your own if you have not before. This may save your life. Death is not better I been legally dead and came back. It is better to find a way to live instead. I have lived this long cause I never gave up. I had a greater will power then I ever could of thought I could. When I was legally dead every time there was a light in the darkness at the end of like a tunnel as I floated to the light that told me in a female like voice it was not my time. I had some thing more I needed to go back and do it wanted me to. Maybe to be here to worn and help others like myself of what not to do. I do not know. It was left unknown for a reason I think. :P

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June 22nd, 2016, 6:43 am

RainDreamer (Guest)

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Oh my I know this feel. The reason I stop going swimming altogether, aside from body insecurities, it is because I feel so much envy from seeing all the bodies I wish to have all around me, and hate myself at the same time for feeling it. At least I am able to recognize it as envy, but I wonder if it was because I thought I was too much of a mess to ever love anyone.

I stop feeling that way recently though, but I still have some lingering when my gf is ahead of me on our transition journey, then I have to tell myself this is not a race. XD

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June 22nd, 2016, 11:48 am

GabiAPF

Interesting

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It's interesting to hear so many points of view. I'm lucky that I've never had an envy problem, but I knew many people who did/do. For instance, I have a beautiful friend who was always calling herself fat and ugly, and everyone who has ever seen her will claim otherwise. I think it's more an issue of insecurity and lack of self esteem than anything, since it's so common to see people envy others for what they already have and do not realize it.

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June 23rd, 2016, 5:17 pm

(V(;,,;(V) (Guest)

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@GabiAPF: That sounds like anorexia, which is a bit more serious than insecurity.

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June 23rd, 2016, 8:27 pm

GabiAPF

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@(V(;,,;(V): No, anorexia is a serious problem and I knew someone who had it, but not my friend. She would eat normally (sometimes she would go on a diet, but she never tried to stop eating or eat dangerously small portions). But she was never pleased with the way she looked.

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June 22nd, 2016, 3:26 pm

Heh...no (Guest)

Omg!

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I'm so happy for rain xD she might finally get to be on hrt...she grew up so fast lol

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view EmmiaSilk's profile

June 23rd, 2016, 8:24 pm

EmmiaSilk

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Whew! Finally got through reading five whole years of Rain! It's totally worth the two weeks of binge reading. This is the best left-to-right comic I've ever read, and I can't wait for more.

It's interesting how Rain talks about wanting to be like Ana. Unless I missed something (or a lot of things), she still has no idea that Ana is in the same boat as Rain.
I guess that's the irony here.

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