Chapter 30 - Little Victories

posted October 20th, 2016, 8:42 am


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view LittleLynn84's profile

October 20th, 2016, 8:53 am

LittleLynn84

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Welcome back, Rain Beaus! :D

After over three months of no new story developments - the longest hiatus this comic has seen to date - we are back in business. I know a lot of you are going to tell me that I shouldn't worry about the downtime because you follow other webcomics that've had WAY longer radio silence (and may or may not have come back at all), but that doesn't change the fact that this is what I love. Writing is my life blood, and not being able to post has been hell for me.

I suppose I should give a small health update for anyone who may not have waited around during the last few months. If you didn't know, I went on hiatus back in July to have SRS (or GRS or GCS or whatever the kids are calling it these days; the male-to-female bottom surgery, in other words). I'm almost three months post-op as of this writing, and I feel fine physically. I can do most of the things I could before, with a few lingering restrictions for a little while longer and some obvious anatomical limitations. It's a huge adjustment, for sure, but I think I'm starting to get the hang of it. Honestly, as surgical recoveries go (this has been my third time having surgery), this has oddly been the easiest to recover from physically. I've struggled with a bit of post-surgery depression this time around, but I think I'm finally getting out of that.

(Also, I've said this in the past, but I'm super open and totally happy to answer questions about this. I know firsthand that finding information on this subject can be tricky, and not everyone who has been through this is necessarily open to talking about it. And that's fine; no one should have to share if they don't want to. I like sharing though. I like being able to discuss this stuff. If you have a question, I'll absolutely answer if I can.) ^_^

Anyway, back on topic! :D

I promised that pages would resume next week, so I decided to post the chapter cover today. This way actual pages can resume next week. In case you missed the previous memo, we'll get this moving on Wednesday, October 26th, and posts will go up every Wednesday and Friday. I will eventually return to three posts a week, but I've got to sort some things out first. ^_^

As for the cover here, it's just a simple pic of Rain we've seen before, along with a new character, Rain's endocrinologist. For what it's worth, I wasn't sure how important this character would be overall, or how much they'd be seen in the story beyond this chapter. So I decided to "borrow" a character from one of my other stories. I just needed a doctor to fill the role, after all. So Deirdre Raviede here (previously a robotics expert from abandoned futuristic fantasy story of mine, Bleak Divinity), has crossed into the Rainverse to practice with medicine and hormones. If she becomes a big, important character, then she does. If not, I get to enjoy a little shoutout to an old work of mine that never really got off the ground. XD

Of course, this chapter won't focus solely on Rain (most of the cast will be in this one, in fact), and Deirdre won't be the only new character added to the roster. If you don't remember what's going on though, I do recommend taking this time to reread the last few chapters again. There will be no recap come Wednesday, so we can dive right into the action.

Until then, take care. I'll see you next week, Rain Beaus. ^_^


©2004-2016
Rain, all characters and all other aspects of the story are copyright material belonging to me.

Follow Rain on Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/RainWebcomic/
Buy Rain: Vol. 1, 2 and/or 3 - http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/LittleLynn84
Also t-shirts/mugs/notebooks/etc - http://www.redbubble.com/people/littlelynn84

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December 12th, 2017, 2:07 am

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October 20th, 2016, 10:53 am

indigo (Guest)

Hooray!

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It's so wonderful to see these updates pop back up in my RSS feed. It's great to hear your recovery is going well, too! Deirdre looks pretty cool :3

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October 20th, 2016, 12:07 pm

Someone (Guest)

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Yaaayyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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October 20th, 2016, 12:55 pm

sohappy (Guest)

YAY

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YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YIPPEE YAHOOOOOOOO

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October 20th, 2016, 2:07 pm

Dellaran (Guest)

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I'm happy to see Rain starting up again! Because I love the story, but more importantly, because it means you're feeling better.

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view april_plus_june's profile

October 20th, 2016, 2:56 pm

april_plus_june

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I absolutely adore Rain, and I'm glad you're doing so well! Good to have you back!

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October 20th, 2016, 3:07 pm

Snowwater

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I'm glad to see you're back!! And that you're doing well Lynn :)

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October 20th, 2016, 5:05 pm

S (Guest)

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Can't wait for the new Chapter

But some milestone for me, Since Reading Rain, I've realized that I'm gender-fluid. I used to think that I was just an Girly-Guy sometimes but Rain (well Ky) made me take a step back and think.

I started to were Bra's when I'm in 'girl mode to put it' but that only at night so people don't notice. So I ask any other MtF or Male born Gender fluids do you have tips on how to hid the straps under a shirt, I was thinking maybe a singlet?

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view LittleLynn84's profile

October 21st, 2016, 12:14 pm

LittleLynn84

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@S:

In my pre-transition days, I would occasionally wear bras or tights under my clothes at work or school to feel at least a little feminine in my everyday life. I don't think anyone ever noticed. In my case though, I was usually wearing bralets, which are very light and don't protrude much (I still wear them sometimes, because they're very comfortable). On top of which, I always wore t-shirts at the time that wrapped very closely around the neck, which meant my shoulders were covered and nobody could see the straps. Often, I'd hoodies also, for extra coverage. The big catch I guess would be making sure you don't wear a bra that you can see through your shirt. Like black bras under white shirts, for example. Actually, even white bras are often visible under white shirts (you want a flesh-tone bra if you want to wear one inconspicuously under white or light-colored shirts).

I don't know if that helps at all, but that's most of what I remember when I used to have to hide my bra-wearing. I'm quite a bit more carefree about this kind of thing now, so I'm afraid I don't have much other input (but I hope this was at least somewhat useful).

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October 21st, 2016, 11:12 pm

JayFluid (Guest)

Same

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@S: I think I'm also gender fluid, though I won't be dressing fem till later in my life cuz that would be too complicated since I'm so young. But there are small things I do differently in my life on my fem days.
(Also I always scream like a girl cuz Idk)
P.s. I replied to you because I like to see people like me on the internet, or anywhere in that case.

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view 00Stevo's profile

October 20th, 2016, 5:16 pm

00Stevo

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I'm sure I've seen the other Lady somewhere in the comic before. but I'm not sure which page.

And this is going to be completely random but those are some really well done glasses, Very Nice.

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view LittleLynn84's profile

October 21st, 2016, 11:56 am

LittleLynn84

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@00Stevo:

If you follow me on DeviantArt, I did a couple swimsuit contests with my characters a very, very long time ago. Looking back, I'm not really proud of those, but they happened. Anyway, Deirdre here was actually in one of them. So if you think you've seen her before, it's possible you might be thinking of that (assuming you've seen it). But she definitely hasn't appeared in Rain before now.

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October 21st, 2016, 1:38 am

TranshumanAr (Guest)

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Yay! Rain is back! Also, I am happy that your recovery is going well, Jocelyn!

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October 21st, 2016, 9:11 am

Vicky_Michelle (Guest)

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@LittleLynn84: I have a question, if i may ask. You said that you are struggling with some post-surgery depression. What was the trigger or reason for this depression?

btw, happy dance for new postings!

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October 21st, 2016, 11:51 am

LittleLynn84

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@Vicky_Michelle:

In my experience, surgery just takes a lot out of you. Especially when you're incapacitated for a while afterwards, and have to go through a slow process of recovery before you can get back to your normal everyday life. And then, when you are able to resume your normal routine, it actually becomes hard to adjust to it because you've been out of it for so long (like how going back to work/school after a long vacation can be difficult at first).

For me, I think the depression was brought on specifically because I wanted to get back to posting. But when I finally could sit down and work again, the long time spent not drawing or writing made it hard to get motivated to draw or write. And this was very frustrating for me because I just wanted to continue the story. Enter this cyclical problem where I know that not working is making me depressed, which is preventing me from working, which I know would help me overcome my depression. And that's kinda where I am now. Ultimately, I know I have to break the cycle. If I try to wait it out, I don't think I'll ever get out of this slump. So by just naming a return date and jumping in, it forces me to have to act. And that action is already helping me quite a bit.

It's still not easy, and I'm still not perfectly all better (which is why I'm opting to only do two pages a week for now instead of three), but I've definitely felt more motivated in the last couple days than the last few months. As I see it, this tells me I'm on the right track.

I know that's more than what you asked for, but the trigger for all this was just being out of commission for surgery and recovery for so long. Yes, I need breaks sometimes, so one or two week hiatuses between chapters will still happen sometimes. But this experience has taught me that I should try not to break for quite so long again if I can help it. The longer I stay away, the harder it gets to come back. Obviously, it couldn't really be helped in this case, but I did learn a lot about how important being able to write is to me. And that's why I'm so determined to get back to my routine. ^_^

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October 21st, 2016, 9:39 am

Stankard Toohy (Guest)

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Recap? Pfft. Reread this comic all the way while on hiatus.

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October 21st, 2016, 1:43 pm

Hah (Guest)

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Same lol

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October 22nd, 2016, 12:09 am

Janna (Guest)

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I'm glad to see that you only have a few restrictions to worry about and that you've recovered so well. I was happy for you to finally get the surgery, but I will admit that I've missed you and your art.

I'm sorry you had post-surgery depression to battle with. Depression in general is the pits (I've been fighting that demon lately due to unemployment frustrations).

As for the chapter title page, is it weird that my first thought on the introduction of the endocrinologist was "Ooh! I like her earrings!"?

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October 22nd, 2016, 2:08 pm

PattyM (Guest)

Yea!

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Rain is back! Happy! Happy! Joy! Joy!

And congratulations on getting your SRS! Wishing you a rapid recovery.

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October 22nd, 2016, 6:50 pm

Luvbster

CIS-World Problems

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This may not be the right place to post this, and I apologize if so. I do enjoy the comic and am glad to see it return, but this isn’t about that, I just don’t know where else to say it.

As the title suggests, I am cisgender, and have never experienced confusion or prejudice with my identity/sexuality/gender. Though raised in a conservative household, in the last five or so years I’ve come to consider myself much more liberal and open-minded. I care about LGBTQ issues, I’ve made a few friends in that community, get outraged when I hear of injustices towards them, and even wrote a book with lesbian, asexual, bisexual, and heterosexual-panromantic characters.

And I’ve read and enjoyed this comic for years. I adore Rain, (comic and character) have commented a few times, and I guess that made me believe I had a… I dunno, handle? on the issues.

But for all that, I had never actually met a trans person in the flesh before. Until last week.

A coworker showed up to work in makeup, temporarily perplexing me until she came out to us as trans. She told me personally, obviously a little nervous, and asked if I had questions. Knowing what I already did, and wanting to make it not seem like a big deal, I said no and wished her luck going forward. She seemed pleased, and went to work.

But me? I was FREAKING OUT. Though I was outwardly calm, and always concerned with making those around me comfortable, inside I was more anxious and uncomfortable than I can remember being in a good while.

This lasted for about thirty seconds, before my thoughts turned to just why the HELL I had reacted that way. I was not terribly close to this person. I was not attracted to them, before or after. Their transitioning did not directly affect me in any way, other than having to remember their new name.

Why had this elicited such a visceral reaction from me? Why did I CARE? Why didn’t I feel the same calm acceptance of someone different than me that I always seem to in virtual places such as this?

I beat myself up about it for days. It felt like one of those things, those experiences that reveal your true character, hidden even to yourself. Like being certain you aren’t racist, but when you see a black guy standing by your car, you wonder if he’s about to steal it. Or imagining yourself to be brave, then cowering when you see someone get mugged.

I THOUGHT I was okay with this. I FELT uncomfortable when it was right in my face. I still WANT to be okay with it. Which is the real me? I want to believe that I decide for myself what I am, but when my feelings surprise me, does that mean I failed? That I’m secretly not who I want to be? That I can’t even know until something drags it out?

Is it something that I couldn’t have even realized and dealt with before now? Can I blame it on my upbringing? My inexperience? Can I blame it on anything?

Even here, I’m doing my damnedest to be candid and honest, but I have all the time in the world to think through my words before you see them. If I were caught off-guard, if this was my gut reaction, would it be different? Would it be more true?

I have since made an effort to be as accommodating to my coworker as possible, making a point to do things like greet them with a ‘ma’am’… then immediately worry that I just come off as patronizing. I worry I’ll misgender them. I worry I’ll say something to someone else that outs them. I worry about a lot of things.

The feeling’s not nearly as strong today, and I don’t feel it’s interfered with our working relationship, but I think it’s still there, lurking in the back of my mind. I worry what that says about me.

…Well that was long. Hopefully just getting that out there will help me feel a little better, if nothing else. Sorry to use Rain as the platform for that. I guess I wonder if any of you who read this can relate, from one side or the other. I’d be open to advice on how to handle things too, especially in regards to making a trans person feel accepted without being condescending. Maybe it’s just a fake-it-til-you-make-it kind of thing.

Oh, and glad you're feeling better.

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view blueshark's profile

October 23rd, 2016, 2:13 pm

blueshark

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@Luvbster: It's normal to react the way you did. Human instinct is to be afraid of things that we don't understand, are unusual, or just surprising.

For example, I really like owls. But if one flew out of nowhere right into my face, I would jump several feet in the air and probably scream. But that doesn't mean I'm biased against owls.

As someone who is not cisgender, I would say that you responded really well, you're an awesome ally, and you're really over thinking. :)

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October 24th, 2016, 11:19 am

Stankard Toohy (Guest)

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@Luvbster: That's a perfectly natural reaction. Change takes everyone off guard. A very close friend of mine recently came out of trans. I was equally shocked and had a very similar reaction, but that doesn't mean that either of us are biased. When you've known someone or something as one thing for a while, and it turns out to be another, anyone would be surprised. It'll get easier as you get used to it.

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view Anna Rei's profile

October 23rd, 2016, 2:14 pm

Anna Rei

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@LittleLynn84: I read other Transgender web comics but I always look forward to reading yours the most. I am very happy the hear your doing well to. Being intersex I am still not sure if I will get mine done. I am used to being stuck in between and I am very much like a Gender Fluid person. But my body is both to. It is hard to not be like most others as just one gender. Reading about you getting this as help me a lot. I have gone thru depression badly after surgery to of having my gallbladder removed but I know it is not the same thing. :P

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October 25th, 2016, 6:47 am

formerly whirly-twirly-fangirly (Guest)

Glad to see your back

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@LittleLynn84: I'm so happy that you're healthy and raring to go.This comic is a good read not only for itself, but for you and the community you've built around you.

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October 25th, 2016, 8:15 pm

Allie (Guest)

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If you were asking, I'm quite partial to GRS (genital reconfiguration, not gender reassignment), cos it's just a straightforward factual description and doesn't imply that our genitals define our genders or sexes :) I'm not sure I'm much younger than you though lol

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