Rain's feelings mirror my own quite a bit. I was at one time hesitant to talk to anyone about anything relating to my being trans. Even people who I knew would accept me or could help me. But going out at any given time, I agonized over whether I passed or not. No one would even say anything; I would be sensitive to every little glance that lasted just a second too long. Or assume if someone is laughing, it HAD to be at me. Maybe everyone can see right through me and just isn't saying anything. I 100% understand and support anyone who would want to be stealth, but after years and years of trying to be that way, I just can't do it. All it does is feed on my low self-esteem and send my already bad anxiety through the roof.
In hindsight, becoming visible was probably a gradual and unconscious process for me. When I realized what I was doing, it felt very sudden and it weirded me out, much like Rain, but the signs were there that I'd probably been going that way for a while. I also realized I hadn't been as anxious lately. I wasn't self-loathing as much. Someone could look in my general direction without me fearing the worst and wanting to just burst into tears. It was a relief to not feel like that. It was strange, and an adjustment, but it also felt right. More natural than what I'd been trying to force myself to do all this time.
After all, I know what I am. I'm a woman. And whether people know that I'm also trans or not, no one can ever take my womanhood away. They might laugh, or try to insult me, or try to convince me that I'll never be "real", but those people's uninformed opinions don't matter. I know what I am. I don't care if they "don't agree" with my identity. I don't need to prove it, and I don't need anyone's permission. And for what it's worth, my voice is iffy, I still have to shave my face everyday, and I'm well aware I DON'T always pass for any number of reasons. But I'm still a woman, so who cares if people know I'm trans too?
That's what's comfortable for me. I want to stress that I'm not trying to convince anyone to drop their stealth because it's worked wonders for me. No, we're all different. The point is: I'm doing what feels right to me, so you do you. That will always be my stance. If you want to be visible, be visible. If you want to be stealth, be stealth. If you want to be kinda halfway open with select people, go for it. As long as you're not hurting anyone, you do whatever you need to for you.
That was more than I expected to say. I guess I just wanted to get that out. Especially before we go into hiatus mode. I know, I know. But I want to use this time to FINALLY get Volume 4 out. Also, I want to attend to some things going on in my personal life right now. The goal is to be back before March is over. It could be sooner or later this month depending on how things go (and I'll keep you posted), but I'll definitely be back with more new pages (three days a week) before this month ends. ^_^
Rain, all characters and all other aspects of the story are copyright material belonging to me.
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Do you have any Jessica references? I couldn't find any full- body shots.
Character development for the win! Also, do as Pacman says: "be true to your self".
@TranshumanAr: !!! *insert I understood that reference meme here*
You know, even though I'm not accociated with the LGBT community (I mean if you love someone, who cares and if you're born in the wrong body, who cares let them "fix" (is that a good enough word? Sorry if it offends anyone) themselves). But this comic strangely enough grips me enough to care about the characters.
I'm not even really into webcomics but something about this comic really gets me to read every week.
It's a nice comic and I have to applaud you for that.
With that being said I do have a question. I know this is a weird question but despite mentioning Rain not being particularly good at math, we don't really know how the other characters perform. Gavin could be a good student or a slacker. Idk I guess I'm just really interested in the nitty gritty things of them.
Are they all good students or are some just avarage or slackers or...? Because I'm pretty sure Emily has some good grades, but none of the other characters I know.
@Guest: Well now their grades are all I'm gonna think about for the next chapter or two... thanks for that -_-
I'm with you as far as being out. I don't pass all that well, and I'm no good at keeping secrets.
A friend of mine always says that the trans women who don't pass (and are okay with it) seem a lot happier than the trans women who focus on passing. I hope that ends up being true for me, I'm still learning how to be me.
I found confidence by simply telling myself I was going to go forward whatever I felt. Fake it til you make it. Damn the torpedos, march boldly into battle. Only there was never a battle. And nobody ever had a problem with me. Eventually it was hard to get all that worked up about it.
I love how she is talking through her problems and getting a feel for what is right for her. Go Rain. And I love how we get to see her bunny again! So cute! Can't wait for the next chapter!
Could be sort of indirectly going on hormones? In the sense of, KNOWING she's on hormones could be making her more confident and stuff. I know that moment had a profound effect on me anyway even though it's obviously too soon for there to be any significant direct chemical effects
Hey look, it's Puddle ^_^
You are such an amazing person and inspiration for me. Im not trans but cis lesbian living in a really homophobic country so im constantly afraid that someone will hurt me if i say too much or something like that. It's so tiring. But Your story never fails to make me smile and remind me again that IT GETS BETTER. It really does. Thank you so much! Go Rain! I will support her forever
I just discovered this website, and Rain was the first comic I clicked on. I have spent about 6 hours (with breaks because I needed to sleep) reading every goddamn page of this thing. It's amazing and one of my favourite things ever and it looks great and I love it well done this is beautiful. I'll probably use this as a guide when I finally start making my own comics because it looks so professional and pretty :3 ^^ <3 :D Keep going with this! I love Rain!
SAME HERE!!! I LOVE RAIN!!!X3 *SQUEAL*
who cares about everything else PUDDLE STRETCH so cute >W<
@Cassy: Puddle. Is. The. Best.
And a really cute Beast of Doom.
Best character in the comic hands down, in my opinion! Totally tops every last thing.
I'm so happy I found this webcomic. I've laughed and had many good "feels" throughout the experience. I've definitely cried too, which is a little difficult to cover up when I was at work, because there are moments that I know exactly what Rain is feeling.
Excellent job Jocelynn!!!
My only regret is now that I'm caught up, I have to wait for the next page every time a new page goes up. I'd rather keep clicking and reading page after page.
Lots of love for you and all you've done!
Rain and another comic are tied in how much I like them. I just got through my second reading. I don't know why, but I feel a personal connection with all (most) of the characters, and I feel like I totally understand everything that's going on with them.
This chapter was surprisingly heavy for me. I don't think I could bear to read through an alternate reality where Ana broke up with Gavin and moved again just because she was afraid of rain =c
Also, before this readthrough, I accidentally saw the name of this page, "Red Alert", and I was terrified for what it could have meant for Emily. I'm glad to have not reached a cliffhanging miscarriage reveal. That probably would have broke my day.