Shame

posted July 12th, 2017, 11:21 am


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view LittleLynn84's profile

July 12th, 2017, 11:24 am

LittleLynn84

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Oof. I know this one is an emotional roller-coaster, but I believe it's important for a lot of reasons.

I don't want to say much about the above as I'd rather leave you to offer your own commentary. But I should probably point out the flashback panel on the second page, giving a brief unclear image of Ky and Heather's mom (one of the worst - if not THE worst - parental figure in the story). I don't plan on going too much into her beyond this in this main story (because it's kind of just in the past and not terribly relevant overall), but there's a little further talk about their mother in the bonus chapter of Volume 3. The panel itself is a scene from there.

Beyond that though, regarding everything else. I'd rather hear your thoughts. On Drew. On Ky. On what this means for the future of these characters? This is potentially very sensitive subject matter for a lot of people though, so please be mindful of that and respectful of your fellow readers. Thank you.


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Rain, all characters and all other aspects of the story are copyright material belonging to me.

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August 20th, 2018, 5:19 pm

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July 12th, 2017, 11:31 am

Zosonils

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I'm impressed that Ky isn't flipping tables or pulling out weaponry. A lot of self control goes into being in that kind of situation and yet not delivering any ass-kicking.

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July 17th, 2017, 11:32 pm

Bandana_girl

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@Zosonils: It seems that Ky is hindered by feelings for Drew. Ky wants to give Drew as much of a chance as possible to be a loving boyfriend, but Ky is realizing that even if Drew is loving he doesn't feel free to love who he loves. Ky might be holding out hope that Drew's shame is his own sexuality and that Ky is just the light that shines on that shame.

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July 18th, 2017, 6:49 am

Zosonils (Guest)

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@Bandana_girl: I wish I could like comments on this website, because that explanation seems absolutely perfect.

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July 12th, 2017, 11:42 am

Ari (Guest)

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I don't think Ky is being entirely fair here. For reference, I'm a trans boy. I would probably freak out a bit if someone said I'm "not really a boy", but Drew is right that Ky isn't going to have to deal with harassment for wearing a dress, whereas an AMAB person would. Honestly, the fact that Drew feels like the main reason he wouldn't go out in a dress is harassment makes me wonder if he's non-binary or something. As for Ky, I've worn a dress for the sake of friends before. And that was just to keep their parents calm, as opposed to avoiding outing them. It seems like Ky is essentially saying Drew has to come out if they're going to stay together, which doesn't seem like a fair ultimatum.

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view TallMist's profile

July 12th, 2017, 11:50 am

TallMist

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@Ari: "Ky is saying Drew has to come out if they're going to stay together"?

More like Drew wants Ky to experience crippling dysphoria.

And just keep in mind that just because you can put up with something doesn't mean others have the same patience or will or even want to put up with it.

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view Kingdomgirl94's profile

July 12th, 2017, 11:55 am

Kingdomgirl94

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@Ari: I think Ky addressed that point pretty fairly here though, he (which I'm going to use since Ky is in boymode at this point) says that everyone would be comfortable with him, if he were in boymode that night but still wearing a dress, but Ky wouldn't himself be comfortable and that doesn't seem to occur to Drew. Ky may have passing privilege and might not get harassed, but those feelings of dysphoria don't magically go away whenever. Ky seems like he feels a lot of dysphoria, which is made worse by the lack of understanding about how it moves and shifts and changes. I think that's something particular to people like Ky- it's hard for people to understand that genderfluid people can still feel dysphoria and cognitive dissonance, even if it's not consistent, and even if their gender presentation changes. I don't think Ky wants Drew to come out for him, but I think Ky just wants Drew to understand that his being genderfluid is just as real and uncontrollable, and so are the feelings that go along with it, even if it seems like it's a choice.

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July 12th, 2017, 4:08 pm

Gavin and Sarah (Guest)

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@Kingdomgirl94: Wow, you have hit all the right notes here. It's scary how right you are. ^^

Yeah, the worst part of being fluid is the dysphoria. It doesn't go away...and to an extent, it'll probably always be a part of us...especially because hormones and surgery are usually off the table (at least, from my AMAB perspective).

What matters most is that we are accepted as who we are by those around us. That we're given the freedom to be who we are in that moment. That there's social licence to be ourselves. It's easy to say "damn the world, I'll be myself regardless of what people say!" but the reality is, we feel what other people think of us. We're social creatures, we can't live without social validation and acceptance! If those around us can't support who we are, then we need to jettison them post haste. Ky had to do that with his mom...that must've hurt, but it was gonna be painful either way.

Whatever Ky does is his decision, but I'm still rooting for Ky and Drew. I'm hoping Drew can recover from this...it's not gonna happen today (because it usually takes time for this kind of attitude to change), but I'm hopeful he'll be able to be fine with dating an occasional dude.



...on a related note, I hope someday I can find someone who loves both my sides. Both the cool nerd dude and the cutesy nerd girl. We're...kind of a package deal. ^^

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view wolfpurplemoon's profile

July 13th, 2017, 5:24 am

wolfpurplemoon

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@Ari: I don't understand what you mean by Drew having to come out? A straight man can date a non binary person without having to change his sexuality - obviously if the non binary partner would find that misgendering then the relationship isn't going to work out, but if the non binary person is comfortable with their straight (or gay!) partner continuing to ID as straight/gay then that is fine.

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July 13th, 2017, 6:48 am

thejeff (Guest)

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@wolfpurplemoon: Drew doesn't have to change his sexuality or how he personally IDs, but socially speaking, showing up at the prom with a visibly boy date is going to out him. Whatever the truth of his sexuality, he's going to be known to everyone at school as non-straight (which likely translates as "gay" for most). Given the nature of this school, that possibly leads to discipline or expulsion.
Now, it's possible that, as Rain and the others are hoping, the school authorities won't be paying much attention to the dance and it'll never reach that level, but it is a real risk. Even without that, coming out publicly is a big step and pushing someone into it is problematic. OTOH, so is pushing someone who is out to hide themselves. It may be they're just not in compatible places.

All that said, I think Ky really does have a point. I don't think Drew really gets it. I think he's happy thinking of Ky as "still a
girl" who sometimes likes to pass as a boy. Which is not good at all. He's got some serious learning and accepting to do if he doesn't want to lose this now.

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view wolfpurplemoon's profile

July 13th, 2017, 7:12 am

wolfpurplemoon

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@thejeff: Ah ok, I get where you are coming from now, yeah that makes a lot of sense.

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July 13th, 2017, 4:25 pm

CatPerson (Guest)

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@thejeff:

"... he's going to be known to everyone at school as non-straight ... Given the nature of this school, that possibly leads to discipline or expulsion."

Ummm ... No! At least not if lawyers get involved. Ky, in such an event, would, I assume, permit a certified doctor's report to be obtained to verify that, biologically, they is female. Even if the school has a written policy forbidding gay dating (not a given) Drew and Ky would not be violating it.

Given that Drew is a senior and the prom is doubtless held when school work is, for all intents and purposes, completed for the year, trying to expel him at that point would be a simple breach of contract between the school and Drew's parents that the school would lose and be forced to give him a diploma.

It would be trickier if the school tried to prevent his attending the graduation ceremony. It would lose a suit over that too but the decision might come too late. But we know Father Quenton is publicity-adverse (based on his refusal to allow Emily to be valedictorian while pregnant). What would generate more publicity than the school punishing Drew solely because his date (a non-student) refused to wear a dress. The law and most people frown on punishing anyone for what someone else did.

The school would fold like a $2 suitcase.

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view TallMist's profile

July 12th, 2017, 11:49 am

TallMist

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Ky is absolutely right here. No, Ky wouldn't be harassed for wearing a dress, but so? It's either Ky gets harassed for wearing a tux or Ky has to deal with crippling dysphoria because their date doesn't want Ky to be their true, authentic self. Ky is totally being fair. Drew wants to control Ky's gender presentation in public so that it's convenient for him while paying no mind to how Ky feels about it.

Edit: Changed the pronouns to more gender neutral ones, because I was typing without thinking about that part, ironically. My bad.

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July 12th, 2017, 12:29 pm

GJT0530 (Guest)

My thoughts...

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One point that hasn't been considered is if Ky tries to attend in boy mode and does not choose to wear a dress, they may not be allowed to attend at all. It doesn't justify what Drew has actually said, but it does support his goals.

Don't misunderstand, he's in the wrong, because his motivations are selfish and he's being tactless and insensitive about it, but he's indirectly right that Ky attending in guy's clothes would probably be a bad idea.

That said, I don't think it's unreasonable to ask someone if they are willing to suffer temporarily in exchange for not outing yourself and going through longer term problems. However, I do disagree with the WAY he's doing things, with the specific things he's saying. Additionally, it's ALSO not unreasonable for the answer to that request to be "no". In which case, three things could happen: either they need to not put themselves in that situation(Not go), Drew needs to decide he's willing to out himself if it comes to that, or Ky's right and they aren't compatible enough.

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July 12th, 2017, 1:50 pm

K_Man (Guest)

Thoughts

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@Ari: Just because you're willing to be uncomfortable to save face doesn't mean we all are. I've fought hard for my identity to be recognized. Every time I've slipped back or let something slip it has repercussions for months (well you were willing to do it for so-and-so why not me?). So when my grandmother asked me to pretend to be a girl for my grandfather's birthday, I told her "No. I won't broadcast it while standing on the table because I am not the type to make a scene but I WILL correct people who use the wrong pronouns, and explain, nicely, if they query." She threatened to disinherit me but I don't even care because if she can't be proud of me as a guy, then she doesn't love me unconditionally and I don't need that.

And I feel like the same goes for Ky. Drew can ask. Ky might agree. But he can't tell them "No" because it's ultimately Ky's decision and Drew has to respect that.

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July 12th, 2017, 1:54 pm

Haldo (Guest)

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That was a very mature breakup... Ky's clearly thought about this scenario before

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July 12th, 2017, 2:15 pm

Lilrq28 (Guest)

Jesus.....

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Ky clearly thought this through

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July 12th, 2017, 2:23 pm

sunspark

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I'm glad someone already replied to Ari's comment because I was going to make that exact point. Just days after transitioning I dressed as a man one more time in order to attend my school's graduation that year with no fuss. (The announcement to the community was made over the summer.) I've rarely been more uncomfortable, and there is no way it will ever happen again. I totally get what Ky is feeling.

I think also that they are probably right: Ky and Drew may ultimately be incompatible. It's sad because they are a cute couple and we *want* to like Drew and we *want* to like them together. But Ky is who they are and Drew is who he is. Unless Drew can swallow his pride and allow himself to deal with whatever bi part of his personality lets him be with Ky to begin with, this relationship is over. And Drew, who lacks the imagination to see himself as anywhere other than the lowest reaches of the Kinsey Scale, would need a massive creativity infusion for that to happen.

I see a breakup here. Maybe that makes Drew miserable enough to see himself in a new way; I don't know. Doubt it could happen before prom though.

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July 12th, 2017, 2:46 pm

TranshumanAr (Guest)

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I am imagining Ky crying and listening to Burn by Lin-Manuel Miranda. Ky deserves someone better than Drew, and I am sure they can get any good person as a romantic partner.

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July 12th, 2017, 2:51 pm

Colio (Guest)

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Drew: *insert foot in mouth*

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July 12th, 2017, 3:10 pm

Dzaka (Guest)

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@Colio: Drew :is up to his knee at this point:

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view 00Stevo's profile

July 12th, 2017, 4:24 pm

00Stevo

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Someone needs to teach Drew about LGBT+, it seems that he knows to little right now.

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July 12th, 2017, 5:09 pm

(V);,;)V) (Guest)

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Wow, that's how many relationships now?
Anyway...
Drew really needs to grow the hell up.

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view Soxry's profile

July 12th, 2017, 5:21 pm

Soxry

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oh jesus oh god this hurts ah... ah im on the ground on one knee... im covering my face... this was hard to read

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view Soxry's profile

July 12th, 2017, 5:22 pm

Soxry

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"the wrong idea" the idea that youre with a dude, drew? like ok ya itd be bad for him publicly but its not the "wrong" idea its a secret idea its a closeted idea jesus

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view youdont12know's profile

July 12th, 2017, 6:20 pm

youdont12know

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"Ky and Heather's mom (one of the worst - if not THE worst - parental figure in the story)." Considering the competition we know of, I want to know nothing more.

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July 12th, 2017, 6:45 pm

Guest

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I can't choose who's right or wrong here. Ky, it seems, is losing her head too much. I understand why, becauses I also get upset over misunderstandings and things I'm passionate about, but she might be going too far. Drew doesn't get what it feels like to be Ky. She does more yelling than explaining. Maybe try to resist going off on him and have a little one on one talk about genderfluidness. I know that's probably not a word, but you get my point. She just needs to sit down and think before she speaks, because it's really just isolating her farther from Drew. Him, on the other hand, is just blissfully unaware in the most tedious way. Ky's explained it a million times to him: She's a girl when she feels like a girl, a boy when he feels like a boy, and non-binary when they feel like neither. Truthfully, I don't understand what it's like to be genderfluid, but he should at least accept it. He's more focused on image than his feelings for Ky. I kinda see why though, considering he could be expelled from his school for dating another male.
Ky, you're my favorite character, but stop being a jerk to him for being curios/dumb.
Drew, open your eyes and just try to learn and understand Ky better.

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July 12th, 2017, 10:14 pm

Ari (Guest)

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I mean the choice for them (assuming Ky will be in boy mice) was essentially either have Ky wear a suit (in which case Drew would be outed) or have Ky wear a dress (in which case Ky would be miserable). It would have been nice if they'd negotiated some kind of compromise (Ky could wear something androgynous). But that wasn't discussed. The thing is, one night of dysphoria will not be super important in a few years. Coming out would be. So it would make sense if Ky said they didn't want to go or something similar, but deciding you're not compatible with someone on the basis of them not being ready to come out seems... harsh.

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July 12th, 2017, 10:18 pm

Ari (Guest)

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That makes more sense. To me, trying to pressure someone into coming out is wrong. If Ky's motives here are rooted in all the transphobic subtext coming from Drew, that's a pretty reasonable choice.

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July 12th, 2017, 10:51 pm

Guest

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I have had experience in the past of my s/o wanting me to dress or act a certain way as to not be outed or be harassed. I was out to everyone in the group of friends and I'm not one to hide that I'm fluid if I don't need to. I give my props because I had got into arguments before over it. They are strong for what they did. @Gavin and Sarah you will find someone. It may take time but you'll find them. Good luck my friend.

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July 12th, 2017, 11:43 pm

Leah (Guest)

Slightly off topic but ...

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I kept wondering why Ky hadn't made any backup plans for getting into the prom in boymode - but they go to a different school so they might not even know about the hetero-date rule!

And since Drew is obviously still thinking of Ky as a girl who sometimes cross-dresses he probably didn't bother to mention it. :(

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July 13th, 2017, 1:20 am

MacabreDerek (Guest)

Wounded.

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I have to admit, I understand Drew is pretty much designed from the get-go to be a screw-up, dense, and get alot of heat on himself, but I'd be lying if I didn't find him a compelling character in that I am always pulling for him to understand Ky and develop further. Ky/Drew has always been my favouret pairings, and I can understand Ky's reaction and do see it as probably the most reasonable. Doesn't make it feel any better though, as I am always pulling for him to get this to work.

All in all, an effective page if you were going for the whole 'feeling gutted' reaction, it's just kinda sad to see this is where it ended up. Maybe I am projecting on this next thought, but I could imagine a point of self-destruction on an emotional level for both Drew and/or Ky, and that worries me. And while I know Ky is going to have the support in his friends, Drew doesn't have anything really to fall back on, and worse yet I fear it would lead to him falling back on old expectations. It was clear he struggles with these notions of genderfluidity, fears public judgement of him being seen at prom with another young man, but I am worrying it would regress further. I am imagining I am in the minority here, but I am pulling so hard for Drew to find a way to make this work. Still, this whole thing as a reader makes me feel a little wounded.

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July 13th, 2017, 4:31 am

Corrin (Guest)

You're not alone.

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@MacabreDerek: Even as people on the previous page were calling for (and predicting) this outcome, I'm still looking at the ball being in Drew's court.

Yes, he's -still- ignorant. And even in ignorance one can stab with words just as painfully as those being actually hateful. Yes, his first comment could have been made a buttload better, at the very least more caring.

But honestly, reading between the lines, and looking at the situations being faced by other characters in story (again, how much Rain's putting on the line for her gambit and how badly that could back-fire, let alone how much negative attention that could end up bringing to her friends and the people who's helped her), I don't think Drew doesn't care, going by his attempt at a response.

But he does need to decide on what he wants. That's more than fair to say of him; does he like Ky, or the idea of Kylie while being accepting of Kyle (pardon me, but I think I forgot what Ky's gender-specific names were, so forgive me if I got them wrong on memory)?

If the former, then maybe they don't need to go to prom, but somewhere they can enjoy being together regardless, since if there was an issue, they'd both have to deal with quite a bit of trouble that neither wants, nor deserves. And if the next page is him begging Ky to let him keep trying to understand (this stuff isn't simple to me and I just turned 26 the day of this comic while having had more than enough time to outgrow stupid "cultural norms" developed by backwards minded old people around me; I imagine the struggle to understand for someone his age and in his environment would be much much more difficult), then I sincerely hope Ky's willing to accept a sincere apology hug and -try- to move on from there.

If Drew just likes the idea of Her and puts up with Him out of politeness, then yeah, this ain't gonna work and it's not worth trying to put the square peg into a shifting hole. I swear that metaphor was more clever in my head, but eh.

I'm hoping for a happy ending here, because the people of this comic's universe could -definitely- stand to be a lot more fortunate than they are. Maybe that's just me being optimistic. I'm a bleeding heart myself, and I count myself lucky that I'm a bystander to this sort of problem (by which I mean looking at other's struggles makes me appreciate that for the many things that have gotten me abused and beaten in the past, my gender at least has only factored in... a bit of it).

Hopefully one way or another we'll find out on Friday. Op is an EVIL Troll if we end up cutting away to some other situation on that day, though.

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July 13th, 2017, 10:31 am

MacabreDerek (Guest)

Thoughts

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@Corrin: Hey Corrin, thank you for your reply. Guess for some insight where I am coming from, I am not a part of the LGBT(+) community, but this was a comic that was given to me as a discussion point when a dear friend came out to me as a trans woman. I was never really exposed to much to the overall concept, but she was kind and patient and was an open book to help me understand, as well as her wife and I feel highly indebted to them.

So from that perspective, I see Drew and a part of me has that empathy for him because I do see that confusion and trying to overcome years of bias as something to pull for.

And you are right, reading between the lines, he's not doing or saying anything out of malice, and I can understand his worry for coming out. Again, for Drew I have not seen anyone who will support him on him and Ky both going to prom in tuxs, Ky has his sister, the whole crew with Rain and everyone. For Drew, it very much puts him on an island, and that's probably the scariest part for him.

One thing I will say from what I've seen of Drew, it's more he likes the idea of Him on both sides, but it's his public perception that is his biggest hurdle, and it's one that really needs to be addressed.

I am hoping for them to work out. So why is their this niggling thought in my head that it ain't gonna happen?

As a side note: Happy Belated Birthday, Corrin ;)

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July 13th, 2017, 4:27 pm

Corrin (Guest)

Thoughts

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@MacabreDerek: Yo, Cis-Gendered Straight Male here. I've just encountered a few friends online who come from various spots on the LGBT+ spectrum, and my appreciation of them has helped facilitate my open-mindedness. (My comment in my previous response about my gender is that, for better or worse, I trigger -EVERYONE-'s gaydar.)

Fun to see peeps who're operating on basically the same wavelength. Go get yourself a cookie on behalf of an anonymous comment-er on the internet.

As for whether or not it'll get better, ball's back in Drew's court. We'll most likely find out on Friday what exactly it is that he wants (at least at the moment), and if he can articulate it in a way for Ky to believe it. Prognosis doesn't look entirely positive, particularly with one party already full on in tears, but there's always room for a miracle.

Thanks for the HBD! I'm getting used to growing old. XD

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July 13th, 2017, 6:36 am

Vicky_Michelle (Guest)

Not Surprising

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Really is this behavior from Drew that surprising? When we first met Drew, he saw Ky and thought "that boy is cute. Wow. Does this mean I am gay?" When Drew finally saw Ky in a skirt he was confused and then happy to learn that she was born female.

Drew has lived a sheltered life from the GLBT+ lifestyle. Even though many of his classmates fall in the alphabet soup, he is unaware of their status (with the exception of Rudy).

If you are raised in a small town, a very religious town, or a town that is intolerant of outsiders, you may not understand how to look at other people's perspectives since everyone you know has very similar perspectives as yourself. I have even met people who live in large cities, are in the community and have no strong religious beliefs and they still can't understand Trans or GF people. It is outside their own feelings, completely foreign.

I am really impressed with Ky's ability to express themselves about this issue. They explain it well for those who may not understand. This is the second or third time that Ky has had a similar talk with Drew. Ky must really like Drew to keep putting up with the constant foot-in-mouth that Drew seems to like doing. Many people have broken up over much less.

Jocelyn, thank you for putting up comics that make you think and bring understanding to people who don't always get what others are feeling/going through. Sometimes this wild ride we call life can get challenging and its nice to see that our challenges are experienced by others. Also, nice to see how others react to the same or similar situations. Keep up the good work!

Edit: LOL "Thanks for commenting on Shame." That is the message i received after hitting submit...made me laugh...needed that.

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July 13th, 2017, 11:42 am

DCFan (Guest)

CISPOVvsTransPOV

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Drew is really dumb. If he likes Ky, he needs to understand that Ky's gender is no fixed. That presenting male or female when they are not is going to cause problems. But Ky has to understand that Drew does not have a frame of reference to understand the trans experience. Also, Ky is going to have to deal with situations where what one is wearing is planned out in advance. Prom (like a wedding or other big formal social event) might require putting your outfit together ahead of time and maybe planning it out with your date so your colors don't clash or out fits compliment each other. Does drew by them a corsage or not?

I do not envy Ky in this situation though, they don't really know how they will feel tomorrow and to be expected to plan for an event. I think the stress of it is getting to Ky and brought out their frustrations on Drew not being able to grasp what gender fluid means. Heck most cis people have a hard time understanding that transwomen are women, and transmen are men.

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July 13th, 2017, 3:03 pm

Agua (Guest)

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This is a little unrelated, but I was wondering if we'd get to see how Chanel deals with a hypothetical coming-out as asexual. I feel like this would help validate your a-spec fans, but I'm sure that whatever you choose to do will be okay. You seem supportive of aces and aros, by the way. Keep up the good work!

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July 13th, 2017, 3:15 pm

Guest

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I'm glad they ended it this way. For a moment I was getting worried that Ky was going to be a hypocrite and expect Drew to pretend to be something he's not, that is to say definitively gay. But what they said here clears it up sufficiently.

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July 13th, 2017, 5:17 pm

castlemaid

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I foresee hopefully a hug, and him just worried ky might get bullied emotionally or physically in boy mode

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July 15th, 2017, 11:50 am

Effe (Guest)

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Ok. Ky is an Angel. That was the sweetest break up possible for this situation.

For people who aren't genderfluid, you probably can't comprehend the fear we suffer everyday because we will NEVER pass. It's not about outing Drew. It's about understanding that a relationship with anyone needs to be one of support. And that we have tô be fair with ourselves, because society won'tem ever be.

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July 17th, 2017, 4:59 pm

Marah (Guest)

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I just had to comment, this and last strip are just a perfect picture of how trans/enbies are treated in real life. it is so true. yet hurtful to read, but necessary and beautiful at the same time.
Again: thx for writing this comic!

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view plasticwrap's profile

July 18th, 2017, 2:10 am

plasticwrap

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(Note: this comment is hella long and for that I'm sorry, but if you care about bi-erasure and/or Drew and people like him, you should read this.)
I'm disappointed in the general lack of perspective with the comments coming down on Drew like a ton of bricks. Even if his family isn't religious/Catholic, it's been pretty well demonstrated that this school can be hard on its queer students. So you have the normal teenage anxieties about reputation and rumors, plus the backlash that can occur from parents and faculty if word comes back you took a same-sex date to prom (never mind that the fine details could actually make his situation worse!), plus the fact that Drew is EXTREMELY uncertain about his orientation (which considering he is probably bi will be something he will consistently question and doubt for at least another decade) and is working hard to repress any gay feelings and thoughts he is having (probably why he has latched onto his first male crush, because "but dude, she's actually a girl, so I'm not gay after all!), something like 85% of the comments dismiss these very real social pressures and anxieties WHICH THE COMIC HAS BEEN VERY CAREFUL TO ESTABLISH OVER MANY PAGES in addition to the social stigma surrounding homosexuality (and bisexuality) and internalized homophobia that I think we can assume applies here because this is average North America, right? And he's 17 or 18, right? So sure, they're not right for each other until he's willing to risk ridicule for her, but considering it's just a date for prom... Ky's asking Drew to risk being hurt for an uncertain period of time, and Drew's asking Ky to potentially sacrifice his comfort and well-being (although everyone seems to be equating their dysphoria experiences with Ky's and Ky's doesn't seem to be nearly as crippling, tbh) for one evening. Their each asking the other to risk being hurt, and Drew's risk actually has the potential to be greater than Ky's. Ky was originally WILLING to risk one evening of dysphoria, in theory. He's survived dysphoria before, and legitimately thought he could handle it again.
I just think the fanbase here has very little (if any) sympathy for a cis "straight" boy being afraid of what might happen if he loses his straight privilege. And I can understand why you couldn't give a fuck. And considering the way Drew carried on and on after the Halloween party about how he caught the gay, it's unlikely he has a personal situation where it is legitimately unsafe for him to be queer. BUT I will tell you, because I went through it myself and I am still in the closet to all but 1 person (and I think my SO knows but I just can't bring myself to come out) and have been for years now: finding out you're bisexual (or pan) after repressing HARD for years is A PAINFUL EXPERIENCE. Most bi men will work desperately to re-repress those feelings or remain on the "down low" or just consume gay porn to satisfy that craving in order to stay in the closet. Half the reason people think bi men don't exist is because they choose the closet. They feel too normal for pride parades and gay bars, and they don't want stereotypes and hate and harassment thrown at them, so they choose the closet.
Sorry that turned into a little confessional but goddammit, I'M ANGRY! Drew is pretty obviously the B in LGBT (or possibly pan) and DESERVES TO HAVE SOMEONE IN HIS CORNER! I was him once! I was a stupid, confused, ignorant teenager and guess what- boys like him choose the closet in part because they feel they don't belong under the rainbow flag. Fuck that. Drew has a lot of growing up and learning to do, absolutely he does. But that doesn't change the fact that Ky is asking Drew to risk outing himself if they feel like a boy on prom night. I know it's not the same thing, but you would never think it's okay to ask a passing trans person to give up their stealth for one date, would you? Feel free to tell me how that's a false equivalence.

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January 30th, 2018, 11:52 am

Kamikazi20 (Guest)

Poor Ky

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Poor, poor, Ky.







She doesn't cry very well.

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